Alanon was my lifesaver in similar circumstances. It helped me build the self-confidence and sustainable calm I needed break the vicious cycle.

Gentle support while you find what works for you, TMB. It's a tough spot.

Everything is ok.

Get out of your current situation. Get a deep connection with yourself first. Find a roommate, take the bus.

Do you have friends outside the relationship? Family?

Big hug for you tryingmy……. Everything can be okay again

I agree that Alanon is an awesome group for family and friends of Alcoholics …. There are meetings all over and they're free.....

This could really help you with RL support

It's a disease..... it's a family disease and unless he wants to reach out for help for himself this won't change

You being codependent and enabling won't help him at all and is taking you down

As rmb wrote you can change your situation..... Find a new roommate …. and treat yourself gently

You deserve to be treated with respect and with kindness..... Start by treating yourself kindly sweetie.....

Baby steps are steps in the right direction.... You can do this and you can heal

I grew up with alcoholism and I know how damaging it can be...… Another hug.....xo

I'm in a similar situation. Been with my bf for 15 yrs, no sight of marriage, although he has given me 2 engagement rings, but I think those were mostly to keep me from nagging. We do have kids together and live together but I really feel like we don't like each other. We don't really argue, anymore, we just don't really say anything to each other. I don't feel anything toward him which I'm sure is because I still hold an unforgivness for how he treated me in the past. I'm not saying i was always perfect but he truly did do me wrong on numerous occasions and I just kept going back. I have a huge problem w his drinking and not putting his family first. I feel so lonely and empty. He pays half the rent and pays for the car I drive so I feel like I have to depend on him and that kills me. I would love for us to work it out but I feel like the damage is done. Just don't knw what to do anymore

Intervention is a good show and there's full episodes on youtube…. It shows very clearly the family dynamic and the effects on all involved.... xo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrTlI6seM0A&t=25s

I also struggle with friendships and always felt more comfortable in a relationship which for me usually was unhealthy (my husband now is wonderful btw) The guy I was with before my husband was an alcoholic. I wanted to leave, but it was so hard on my income, plus the mental state I was in because of the relationship made it difficult to work well. We only lived in a really crappy RV at the time that leaked when it rained, but it was a roof over my head and it felt like security at the time. I was also a codependent. I wanted so bad to change. I turned to my faith and a counselor at my church gave me a list of resources-one being a number for a woman shelter. I wasn't ready to try it right away, but I ended up starting to go to Lakewood church in Houston. Joel Osteen said "give us a year of your life and you will never be the same". John Gray said "you haven't stepped into crazy until you've stepped into the will of God". Thats when I decided to go. It might sound crazy, but I was so happy to be there (maybe the only one there that was happy to be there) once I got there and got past my fear. For one thing, the showers were a bit of a step up and the roof didn't leak, but for the first time I felt independent-like I didn't need anyone. I found a full time job at a grocery store near by. For the first time I felt like my life was finally headed in the right direction-and it was and is. My church helped me change my thinking. At the shelter they had other resources to help like rides to work, counseling, etc...I'm not saying that a shelter is necessarily the right thing for you. I hope you have some friends or family near by that can help you. If you do choose to leave, we were taught at the shelter to make a safety plan. I know its hard, but sometimes we have to let the wrong people leave so the right people can come into our lives. If you would like help with resources let me know <3 I'm praying for you <3

This is a good time to pick a career that makes money. I would probably enroll into college and get into a dorm. Pick a career that will make money and get to it. Colleges offer work/study programs.
You can’t depend on anyone but yourself.

I believe you know everything is not okay and that its time to create your own okay. Whenever I have had to make a big change in my life to foster my own emotional wellness and find a better life, I first start by writing things down in a journal. Start by thinking about the plans you might make. Write them down. You share a room and borrow his car. What if you found another living situation near the bus stop or near your work. What if you got a second job, part time job, and saved money towards buying your own car. Does he carry insurance for you to be driving his car? If no, this is also taking a big financial risk and it might help you to move forward by thinking of it this way. Say you cause a wreck and his insurance won't cover you, so your current "ideal" might not be so wise for example. You don't have to have instant ideas but just starting the plan to move out and create a better life will give you some self esteem and feel less like a stuck victim. I suspect living with him solved a short term need at one point and now that you know the real him, it hasn't been the best solution maybe. Its okay to make mistakes, this is how we learn. So find out what you want now out of life and go after it. Grab ahold of your life, you can do this! You deserve a better life.