Could it be that your expectations are overly grand for just having a few dates or chatting with these guys? Maybe what you are learning is that people can easily mask themselves online and the truth shows up in person? I have heard many people say similar things about online dating as you have expressed. I might suggest you find activities that you like, Meet-Up groups, church groups, social or hobby groups, whatever you like. Start talking to people and forging friendships. That way you will see how someone is before you ever go on a date. Pull yourself up, hold your self value, so you attract better people because you are worth it. I do believe that when I was at my most emotionally weak, codependent, and needy, I did attract a lot of users and allowed them to walk all over me. I didn't see myself as valuable and worthy of better. I hope you are not this way like I was. I will also say that once we start to set boundaries, we do find that some people don't like it. So they say things that make us the bad guy and them the victim. Learn the code language. Understand they are trying to make us drop our boundaries and self respect. Hugs to you.

I'm not needy, and I'm in a better place than I was. I'm just worried about what my future holds, romantically speaking. And yes, I'm on meetup. As you say, I'm trying to be more social. Thanks for the input, hugs

It's definitely not you! Those two guys sounded like weirdos. Forget those two jerks. I am not so sure if meeting on dating apps is the best thing for a long term relationship. I could be wrong, but I think a lot of these apps are geared toward hookups.

Try looking for guys at the grocery store, bars and clubs (if you go), church... Getting involved in volunteering or a recreational sport are also ways to meet new people in general, new friends, and maybe a nice guy too :) It's good that you are on Meetup. But the thing is you have to actually go to these things, no one is going to knock on your door :)

Try to get out where there are a lot of people, not sure what your town is like, but malls, parks on a weekend afternoon, coffee places.... go with a friend if you like (a female friend!!) and smile a lot, say "Hi", just look open to conversation. You can do this... it only takes One!

I think that there are MeetUp's for things like dances and bowling and that speed dating may start you meeting people

I have 2 people that have met their life partners who are good people on dating sites.... I've not been on one so I'm not sure what people write... Maybe look for people with some hobbies similar to yours

I think that there are huge red flags with both of these guys as well..... Big hug.... I wish you well.....xo

Yeah, I know a couple of people as well who met their partners on dating sites. I think the issue sometimes is that there are so many people on line, which means you have to weed through that many more turds to find decent people.

I would try to stay in the moment and not worry so much about your romantic future. All that does it put pressure on yourself to find someone and so when you don't, it feels like there's something wrong with you or that you're destined to be alone. I don't think either is the case.

I notice you mentioned having gotten "close" to these guys. What does that mean to you? I'm just wondering because for me, I never considered myself close to anyone until it was clear we were an actual couple or exclusive. That being said, I know people have different definitions of being close, but I just wonder if your desire to have someone is causing you to feel close to someone you don't know that well yet. I could be way off base though.

I'm sure you're not "doomed"! There are certainly a lot of men on dating sites that have no business dating anyone. Perhaps you are just weeding out a few duds. I do understand that it is very, very hard not to take the rude treatment personally. I found a couple of books to be empowering - "F*ck Him! Nice Girls Always Finish Single" by Brian Nox is a good one. You are definitely not alone in having these feelings.

Sometimes the harder we look for love the more illusive it is. Maybe instead, look for fun things to do that you love and get involved in and you will find like minded people and possibly by chance a new love, but don't go looking. Also, have you thought of volunteering? It is a great way to fill your heart as you help others and also meet people who have a good heart in the same direction as you. Also, larger churches have group outings many times, they are fun too. Meetup.com is a great site to find events in your area with fun groups too. Best to you, yes you have time, relax and don't come across needing, just be the best you and what will be will be. <3

Your getting some good advice here. I was successful in the online dating. 8 years and counting, but it didn't happen quickly. Relationships that are meant to be require a lot of effort by both people and time. You'll feel it when it's right. Wanting to feel that way and it actually happening are far apart.
I certainly hope the best for you and I want you to know as you get older you'll have more patience for change. I tried to push it and it turned out poorly. Hopes and dreams are important, but you have to deal in the moment.

Perhaps you long for a relationship that has you look in the wrong places, then when found chase them away. Although, some appear needed to be chased away. Take the time to appreciate who you are, all you have to offer, and the person who falls for you will have a loving partner in you. Think about your interests and then apply them to social gatherings where people share the same interests as you. This will help you find a partner who will also be your friend. That is a great relationship. I believe you will find this relationship. Best wishes to you.