Hi friends~

This is going to be long, and I apologize for that.  First I want to tell you all why I left before.  I had gone to see my therapist a few times regarding me picking up alcohol again and to talk about my new relationship, and how everyone thought I should dump this guy due to his outrageous behavior.  (yes here is my second confession I kept seeing 80's dude) my counselor suggested I stop asking strangers on the internet about my relationship and to even stop talking to my friends about it so much.  So I dropped off the site.

I now know that you ALL gave me better advice then my $125 an hour therapist.

This 80's dude went on and on about how he was in love with me and then started having his 2 year old around more and more.  He finally got full custody because child services stepped in due to the mothers Meth use.  Then every weekend was about me being there from Friday night till Monday morning and spending all of it with him and his child.  He never got a sitter to take me out ever.  I helped him a lot.  His brakes went out on his van I signed off from work in the middle of the day to go get him then drove to get the baby at day care (this was all about an hour away).  Took them back to his house then went back home and finished working by 8pm.  He wanted me to come back that night and I did, next day his child gets a fever and he is flipping out, I had to calm him down and help take care of child all weekend.  

Whenever I would tell him I needed time to my self on certain nights to get my own stuff done he was not happy and would give me a hard time about it.  I also have a running group on Tuesdays and was going to my Smart recovery meeting on Thursday and he was none to happy that there were 3 days a week that I was not there. 

Last weekend He went to look at a house to make a bid on and he wanted me to sell my house and buy this other house with him.  I told him No because we have not even been together 3 months yet.  He thought that was dumb and that we knew each ohter well enough.

Along with all this I also had to hear EVERYDAY about the childs mom, and what idiot she is and how she will never see child again due to her drug use and on and on and on, and they would fight on the phone and stuff, He also told me I was a better mom than her, hell his kid was calling me momma.

After the weekend before last I just could not take anymore and was planning to let him know I was going to start coming over less, well I never got a chance to because he hit me with that He thinks I am not available enough for him and his child!!!  I almost fell over! Really?  Wow!

So we fought and on Tuesday I ended it with him.  He was a jerk of course.  I was happy with my decision an was having a great weekend until yesterday when like I dumb ass I decided to drink and I drank too much and ended up texting him just to say I felt I treated him very well and that obviously it wasn't enough and well he got on my shit about only wanting "me" time and not really wanting a relationship with him...etc....and how I dumped him and his child.  So Now I feel like a HUGE asshole for having contacted him and letting him get the upper hand.

I am very very upset.