Healthy Relationships Support Group
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Could use some advice here. My husband of 17 years is threatening to leave me and our 7 year old daughter because he is upset with the fact that our dog of 14 months barks too much. It is annoying, I agree, but my husband works from home and as of late is reporting increasing distress re: the barking. We adopted the dog and now my husband says he will be returning the dog on Friday. I am not in agreement with this and it will be very hurtful to my daughter. He is telling me to choose between him and the dog. Really? After 17 years of marriage? I am willing to have a canine specialist come to the home to help with the behavior but my husband says no and that he is done. I can't believe this is even happening!
Seems like his response is quite the overreaction, however.
You can either:
A. Call his bluff, and get the dog trained so that the barking quiets down. Everything blows over after hubby calms down.
or
B. Get rid of the dog. (Or your marriage, whichever).
Was there a discussion prior to getting the dog that pets are a HUGE responsibility and are not disposable? Was there an agreement that you would both take care of it? If so, maybe he needs to be reminded of it.
What did he do when you had a crying baby 7 years ago? Yeesh.
My daughter and her husband have had two dogs. They had to get rid of the first one because it was getting too big and had more energy than they could effectively deal with (it needed large spaces to move around and get exercise and they did not have enough room for it). They had to get rid of the second dog for similar reasons.
Pets are great. They provide companionship, entertainment, and love. However, IMO, they are not worth losing a marriage over.
There is also dog training and ways to get the dog to stop barking. Doggie day care for a few hours a day when he is working or maybe you can take the dog out of the house for long stretches during the day.
What are the things that are causing the dog to bark? Can they be addressed? For all to be pleased, there has to be some kind of happy medium.
This husband's response seems very "extra".
That said, I really feel badly for your dog if he is "returned" b/c of his barking. Dogs bark. Its up to those who chose to adopt him to work with him with training and so on. I hope he stays. I hope you get to the bottom of why your husband really wants to leave his 17 year marriage. Dogs get blamed for a lot, but this is just asinine.
I love my cat to death and will be devastated when he dies, but I have no plans to get another pet for a long, long time. I don't think people always are realistic about the time and dedication it takes to have a pet. It's why we have such a problem with abandoned animals in this country. Some people just are not cut out to deal with it in the same way some people don't make great parents.
My question is, seriously? A dog bark's so much that someone will throw 17 years out the window for it?
In 17 years, he should've known he wasn't a "dog" person.
No excuses... I might not be the best person in this group to give advice...
But .... after 17 years of being married he wants to throw it all away over a dog barking...
I mean I can understand I hate dogs barking.. but I wouldn't tell my hubby '' Look you know what its me or the dog you better pick ''
Id respond '' You know what you can go straight too .. beep beep beep ''
Anyone who acts like that after such a long time being together doesn't value their lover enough to act out like that.
Dont put up with that kinda treatment .. its down right abusive black mailing
You be strong and dont let anyone bully you like that !! He has no right at all
I'd keep the dog and get rid of him....