Healthy Relationships Support Group
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This is sorta off topic, but I'm gonna post it anyhow.
On many of the boards, people who are lonely or depressed state that other people pick on them, criticize them, disrespect them and they take it to heart.
When someone criticizes you, CONSIDER THE SOURCE. Ask yourself, what right does this person have to find fault with me?
2 Examples.
A guy friend of mine once told me that a To Do List that I had taped to my bookcase "made my apartment look vulgar". THIS from a man who once lived on the street in a cardboard box! LOL
A relative likes to mock me because I believe in astrology and psychic phenomena. THIS from a woman who sold toilet seats for a living!
GET IT?? You gotta detach and laugh to yourself at the relative stupidity of the person.
On many of the boards, people who are lonely or depressed state that other people pick on them, criticize them, disrespect them and they take it to heart.
When someone criticizes you, CONSIDER THE SOURCE. Ask yourself, what right does this person have to find fault with me?
2 Examples.
A guy friend of mine once told me that a To Do List that I had taped to my bookcase "made my apartment look vulgar". THIS from a man who once lived on the street in a cardboard box! LOL
A relative likes to mock me because I believe in astrology and psychic phenomena. THIS from a woman who sold toilet seats for a living!
GET IT?? You gotta detach and laugh to yourself at the relative stupidity of the person.
#5) i gotta agree with
as an adult, when criticism is offered from a "take a look at yourself /choices from this perspective", i think that is healthy, as it is healthy to poke at your beliefs once on awhile to see if they are valid And if you have been living inline with them
other types of criticism, don't sweat it
I also think that comments tend to say more about the person talking then the person that they're talking to.
A for instance: My son was having severe problems in kindergarten and while walking down the hall with the guidance counselor, he made a comment about my son playing about things killing each other.
It struck me that he had NO CLUE what was going on with my son, as my son's only "play" game was with his stuffed dog and her baby puppy. (Nearly 10 years later, he still sleeps with the same stuffed animals...)
The concerns were over hitting, kicking, spitting. It wasn't pretty, but was pretty much all due to sever language delay, and frustration with the school.
My son could read on a 3rd or 4th grade level, do multiplication in his head, but only could follow verbal speech on about the level of a 3 year old. It would take him 30 seconds to answer a simple question (I timed it...it's a LONGGGG time). The school never gave him that time, and the teacher was clueless. (I felt bad for her...it was her first year teaching kindergarten and it was a rough class for many reasons.)
My son's grandfather's name is Dick.
My son's friend, rhymed my son's name. So he rhymed his friend Nick's name.... (Nick Dick)
It didn't go over well. And NO, my son had no clue that it was a bad name (we'd just been to Dick's Sportinggoods...) My son couldn't tell me what was going on, I'd find out a week or two later...by then the damage was done.
This is standard preschool stuff.
I was in the classroom telling her about my son before the year started. They knew that he was in the system for a language delay from age 3.
Clueless
Yes, it doesn't feel good to be criticized because it is not easy to admit that you may be wrong. Criticism can be hurtful depending on how thin my skin is.
Unfortunately it is unavoidable and I d rather learn from it than feel victimized.
As for you telling me "shame on me", go fly a kite.