Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
So, it used to be that if a guy asked me out, I'd usually go on at least one date. You know, why not...if it doesn't go anywhere, no big deal. After my last relationship, which ended badly, I acknowledge that I know what I want from a relationship and the type of guy that I know I need to be with. I've started saying no, a lot, unless I know I'm actually interested.
Problem that I keep running into are guys that don't take no for an answer. I've had this happen three time now. I've told them everything from I'm busy to "it's not a good time" to just flat out NO. I've had to block the one guy from being able to text or call. We're all in our late 20's and early 30's at this point, I don't get why this has suddenly become a THING. It's not a game or a challenge, like if you work harder you're going to prove you're a good guy, sometimes a girl just is not interested. On two of these occasions, the guy has been linked to my friends somehow and it makes it hard to hang out with them sometimes. Like, I can either refuse to go and miss out on time with friends that I DO want to see or go and spend half the time trying to get the guy to leave me alone.
I don't if this is some kind of aggressive thing that comes along with age where everyone is looking into settling down more seriously and they're trying to find someone to do that with or what, but it's been making me really unhappy. I've been straight up and honest, I don't flirt when I do wind up in the same place as them (I barely even SPEAK to them), and I don't acknowledge any calls or texts. It's really aggravating when someone completely and utterly disregards your take on a situation. Why would you want to harass a girl into hanging out with you? So you can look over at them and know that that girl is only there because you wore her down and she's exhausted or she's there for the sole purpose of shutting you up?
I don't know. Maybe I'm just being a brat, but itd be nice to not be pushed at over and over and be made to felt like my feelings on the matter...don't matter.
Problem that I keep running into are guys that don't take no for an answer. I've had this happen three time now. I've told them everything from I'm busy to "it's not a good time" to just flat out NO. I've had to block the one guy from being able to text or call. We're all in our late 20's and early 30's at this point, I don't get why this has suddenly become a THING. It's not a game or a challenge, like if you work harder you're going to prove you're a good guy, sometimes a girl just is not interested. On two of these occasions, the guy has been linked to my friends somehow and it makes it hard to hang out with them sometimes. Like, I can either refuse to go and miss out on time with friends that I DO want to see or go and spend half the time trying to get the guy to leave me alone.
I don't if this is some kind of aggressive thing that comes along with age where everyone is looking into settling down more seriously and they're trying to find someone to do that with or what, but it's been making me really unhappy. I've been straight up and honest, I don't flirt when I do wind up in the same place as them (I barely even SPEAK to them), and I don't acknowledge any calls or texts. It's really aggravating when someone completely and utterly disregards your take on a situation. Why would you want to harass a girl into hanging out with you? So you can look over at them and know that that girl is only there because you wore her down and she's exhausted or she's there for the sole purpose of shutting you up?
I don't know. Maybe I'm just being a brat, but itd be nice to not be pushed at over and over and be made to felt like my feelings on the matter...don't matter.
There are many people who send mixed messages...
It makes the dating world so hard and confusing.
Another is someone I used to work with and he asked why we never dated. Said I never really looked at him that way and that I didn't think it'd be a good match. So he immediately asked me out. I turned him down, but it's been almost daily invites for drinks or shows or whatever ever since. I don't even acknowledge the texts but they just keep coming.
The other is an employee at the dealership where I bought my car. He pulled my number from the dealership records after I picked it up after service. He never even asked! I actually told him that I had a boyfriend just to discourage any more texts, but he keeps asking when he'll see me again and telling me stories about his toddler and single fatherhood. It's beyond wrong to access customer info for something like that, but to also bring your young child into ANY potential dating situation is a horrible idea. Why would you tell a total stranger a bunch of stuff about your kid?!
Needs to be reported immediately. The business can be had legal issues big time if this person keeps doing it.
If a simple "NO" or "I'm not interested" doesn't work, you could always say "I'm a lesbian"!
As for wanting to hang out with mutual friends of the irritating guys, tell your friends what the situation is, and let them know that you would love to hang out with them anytime he is not invited.
Basically, just avoid people in general who you do not want to be in your life, and use tools, such as blocking numbers or even a restraining order if it escalates into a stalking situation. If you even threaten, in a firm tone, to get a restraining order, they will likely stop bothering you.