Healthy Relationships Support Group
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Help me understand this. She tells me at 6.30 pm that I can call her at the usual time, at 9 pm, but that she does not promise she will be able to get the call then because she will be busy preparing for work tomorrow, washing her hair, drying it, etc. I believe that part. Then she says if she cannot answer at 9 she will call me later when she is done. I tell her that we don't have to talk, I just want to have a chance to say goodnight. At 10.30 she texts me she is drying her hair. I text back saying OK I'll wait for you. Then nothing. I finally text her to ask her if she has gone to bed. She texts yes she has, she is exhausted. I believe that too. BUT WHY THE FUCK DID SHE NOT CALL ME OR TEXT ME SHE WAS GOING TO BED, GOODNIGHT. It would only have taken a second. Maybe she did not understand. But I thought I was clear. I don't know. She I feel she is blowing me off too often. On Thursday she answered my call at lunch and said she was busy and would call back in a sec. She called at 6 pm because she said she got caught up in lunch with her peers. Again, why not text me she changed plans. On Saturday she has a problem with her son. Why not text me and tell me that? WHAT IS HER PROBLEM? Is she just tired of me? Or she does not have good manners? She has done the lunch thing a few times, and only occasionally she texts me to tell me she is having lunch with her peers. Am I overreacting? Please explain to me tonight's behavior. It seems in all of these occasions she did not want to talk to me but she does not have the balls to tell me so she comes up with some way to fill up her time BUT DOES NOT TELL ME SHE WILL NOT CALL ME OR ANSWER THE PHONE. I have a hunch that this is a behavior she learned from being in two abusive relationships. Maybe these guys got aggressive when she wanted to do something different that what they expected so she learned to never say no. SHe just would not do it but would not say she would not do it. To avoid yelling and abuse. Or maybe she does not like me anymore. Or maybe she has bad manners. I am confused. Please help.
She's playing games with you.
She hasn't changed. She STILL only likes guys who don't treat her well. These are the SAME dynamics that landed her in abusive relationships.
I don't like blaming the victim, but C'MON. It's her own doing and preferences that landed her with guys who abuse her.
Start ignoring you and she'll come running back. But once that happens you'll know what I'm saying is true. Do you REALLY want a woman who only wants you when you don't want her, and doesn't want you when you do?
I know you feel sad.
But I hope you feel better soon.
Then you might have closure
Good luck
You don't have to be so distant. Just call or text her and await her response. if you text her today and she don't text till tomorrow, so be it. But I know how you feel. It'sl like once you call or send a text with no response she stays on your mind all day and night until you hear from her because you not sure what she is thinking about you.
It's obvious you're in too deep emotionally and she is not. Do not text or call her repeatedly until you hear back from her first.
Sorry Gabriel, from what you said above I misunderstood and was suggesting a way you could tell her this before going non contact - I didn't realise you might still want a relationship with her