I feel what you are going through. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of five years for similar reasons. Every time I tried to explain to him what I needed from him he wouldn't listen and was selfish. He then would cover it with material items thinking that they would suffice. It's an unfortunate thing to realize that it wasn't going to work. But its better realized sooner than later. It gives an idea of what we actually want in life.

Agreed. I was with my ex for 8 years. Yes as women we want to be spoiled here and there. But when it comes to needs it definitely outweighs the wants. And you woul think that they would benefit more by doing the priceless things than opening the wallet. Someone told me that men like that are used to being with gold diggers.

I often wonder if I really am a weman. I never seem to want what all the other wemen tell me I'm supposed to want. Sigh. . .

Hope the venting helped, SE. Congratulations on your escape.

Just because you dont want what everyone else wants means that you are among the one in a million. This is a good thing. Who wants someone whose just like everyone else? I def dont. I think you're more of a women for being different and not just "fallin in line." Own that ish!

It’s funny that I read your post because I was just thinking about finding a nice pair of earrings for her. Other then the ‘gift’ days I don’t buy her much. However I do the grocery shopping and have cooked pretty much every meal for the past 3 decades. Although ,while it’s a gift in a way, it’s just one of my chores I have taken on. I think her favorite gift is foot massages (once a week,minimum). I’m going to just put this out there...... I have been working hard on myself for the past two years (quit drinking) and in all the effort I put into healing myself I have learned the most about my emotional health (or previous lack of). We put the tv away and for the past few years have chosen to do better things with our time. Lots of reading; so I am a work in progress. Actually reading ‘Emotional Intelligence’ now. All this has helped me to do some deep introspection and have found that I have not taken the time over the years to know myself. It’s shocking to me now,looking back, at how much immaturity I had. I just didn’t know (or want badly enough to know). I am seeing this as a huge problem for many men. Ok, I guess I am rambling a bit but I hope something came through. ‘men live lives of quiet desperation’ If I hadn’t become truly aware of this, I’d still be in my rut, working away without a deeper sense of life in the present moment. Daily meditative walks saved me. Better late than never:)

Thank you for sharing finallyawake. Its a blessing that you have wanted to desire to see a bigger picture, better version, and look at what truly matters. I know your other half is not only proud but grateful. Sounds like you both have a really good thing going. I hope to find someone some day who like you have deeper meanings and values than just the THINGS. Idk if I could rid of the TV but less of that and more of family fun times/him and me times. Glad things are working for you and praying for your continuous healing and growth.