I m not definit he is afraid of me cheating, but it sure looks like it

This evening I asked him straight out. He hesitated for a minute and then he said :" it is just a joke. I know you are a good woman. " and he hugged me.

Have you heard of The Thrive Programme? Its a fabulous self-esteem course, you buy a book and work through it, alone or with a consultant. I did it and its amazing. You can buy it from Amazon.

I had his issues and have been with insecure people. I know how frustrating it can be. Its quite co dependant isn't it. And the body image thing too. It doesn't matter what you do but most of all you need to be consistent with him, it just takes time for him to relax and trust you. It sounds like you are doing all that. Maybe focus on health and wellness rather than weight loss, and this will follow, so thats getting outside more and doing fun things together, bike rides, skating, dancing, going to gigs whatever you like to do, do more of it. Focus on loving life. Its not really about his body its about self-hate and this stems from self esteem.
I retrained to be able to work with people in this area as I was anorexic bulimic for 8 years and couldn't find a solution. The Thrive Programme is part of what I use with my clients. Please look it up, I don't think I can put a link here but the website is Thrive Programme dot org xxx

If the guy was brave enough to get into a relationship WITH YOU, he should be brave enough to deal with the withdrawals if it ends. That's my feeling.

Lmao, Koolman... What are you trying to say by " with you" ?

Hahaha, because you're a bad ass, Aronia! I'm glad you just asked him straight out. I think it's good to just put stuff out on the table like that.

Seriously, there's something to what Koolman is saying. It takes bravery and maturity to start a relationship. It takes the same to deal with it if it should end, regardless of how it ends. I think a healthy understanding that a relationship can go to shit at any point, for many reasons, is something everyone should come to terms with before entering a relationship. I remember when my husband and I were first together, and he said to me, about a month in, you know, I'll be crushed if this doesn't work out between us. I said to him, me too but so what. If you get crushed and then you heal.

Unfortunately, I have dealt with someone somewhat similar to the guy that you are currently dating. We broke up a while ago but still interact with each other from time to time. I will say this-it is a challenge..quite a challenge. First, I want to say that he did have a lot of bad breaks-cheating and abuse. But here I was, I was none of those things and never had a desire to cheat on him but it made no difference. In the end, he broke up with me saying that he wanted to see other women but he used to make many of the same type of self deprecating statements that your guy makes. Bottom line is that you can tell him everyday, 100 times a day, that he is great, attractive, smart, sexy etc...and it will not make a difference. He has to get to that point on his own and the challenge may become for you how long are you willing to hang in there with a guy who at some point will intentionally do things and say things to destroy the relationship. Because either he will become more suspicious of you and think that you are cheating because how could a guy like him be lucky enough at this point in his life, after going through all the bad breaks that he gone through, to have scored a great chick like you or he will be the one to start having a wandering eye because he needs to have attention, and alot of it, to make up for what he missed earlier in his life and as a means of pushing you away.I am just letting you know that you may be in for a bumpy ride but it will all boil down to you holding the bag for all of the messed up stuff that other women have done to him. I do not mean to be a Debbie Downer but I am telling you what I have experienced. In spite of all of this, I do believe that people can change if that want to. Now,if you can get him to seek counseling, it may be a good thing for both of you.

I am glad you asked him Aronia, I hope it gets better now.

My ex had serious self esteem issues. He lost a huge amount of weight. Got into really good shape doing tons of yoga and following a low carb diet. It helped him enough to break up with me and consider looking for someone newer, healthier, & probably younger.