so sorry darling ((hugs)) Ive had a few experiences such as this, and although Ive tried to convince myself it wasnt a big deal etc. it does still hurt. Its okay to be sensitive, its okay to feel the way you do., its okay to take a break from dating and work on yourself, its okay to be selfish. And thats what I would advice, work on yourself, give love to yourself, its okay too! and along the way someone will come :) there is hope even in those dreaded lonely nights. remember your not alone. you can msg me if you like! stay strong

thank you! I really appreciate your encouragement!

give yourself some slack, you are hurting from the loss of your son, yet you didn't open yourself to a jerk that would use & play you, you semi-connected with a decent guy that is perhaps a bit of a juvenile , his loss

keep waking up, you are on the way to OK

and pat yourself on the back for being genuine

"I just am so tired of dating and relationships. It shouldn't be this hard."

I totally agree with this sentiment! I'm sorry about this disappointment, and I hope somebody better comes along soon.

I did wonder when you said he suddenly wanted to perhaps pursue a relationship...but things weren't much different. I am thinking he said that to keep you to himself (was afraid of losing you as a friend)

I just came very close to doing a fwb deal again. As much as I miss being touched and sharing that connection with someone . I am remembering the emptiness afterward realizing that I was simply good enough til someone better came along. I finally realize I want more and shouldn't settle again.

I think you (and I ) both need to realize WE DESERVE BETTER. While it does suck....(you left with that endless ache from losing your son.......and me with a husband still here...fighting to keep me stuck...but refusing to feel or do anything)

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I am hoping you may come to discover just what you want and need and that you may soon come across someone special who does want the same. I know it sounds cliché, but they say everything happens for a reason (and all is a part of a greater plan for us. This part sometimes takes us a long time to figure out why though.)

I think you should muster up the courage and take that guy up on his date request. Instead of looking at it as a potential new mate...consider it an opportunity to get to know another possible friend. (I am finding out that practically everyone I now come across....mostly on here....each have left an impression and have become like a stepping stone that is taking me a wee bit further on my journey toward that happy healthy life) This way you will not be disappointed, but happily excited if it does work out to be even more than that.

Good luck....and God bless. :)

Unfortunately, I think he’s been telling you this all along, by being tentative, by sharing how hard his break up was and how bad his divorce was. We have to believe people when they shows us where they are, who they are. I think sometimes we don’t want to hear or see the reality or truth because we want things to work out, to fill a void of whatever making. Take some time to refresh and regroup, to heal, really heal. I feel terrible about the loss of your son. I’m so very sorry.

Thank you all for your comments and advice. It is really good to hear from impartial people. My family loves me and I know they want the best for me but sometimes I think they just feel sorry for me because of losing my son. Thank you all who took time to reply. I like the comment about going out with people and the different experiences as an opportunity to grow. Sometimes I feel old I think (43) but I'm gonna try to go out with friends and maybe a few new dates to not necessarily be looking for a soul mate but at new experiences and friends. We will see. I can't sit at home and wallow for sure.

Artchick, I do not know why guys/girls tell people they want more when they are not sure themselves. It is hurtful. But I think you are finding out that you deserve more than what they are willing to give.

If you can stay friends with him after that then good for you. But know that sometimes making a clean break is also refreshing. You run the risk of him sending mixed messages when he feels lonely and want you but then when he finds someone else you are left feeling hurt again.

Live your life to the fullest. You are worth more than being someone else's back up choice. One day someone will want you as much as you want them.

Hugs.

Thank you. Yes I do feel as though he sends me mixed messages when he's lonely etc, till someone better comes around. I think that's exactly it. And yes still hoping for someone that really wants me like I want them. I can keep dreaming.