Healthy Relationships Support Group

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He communicated….

sunnyjax
sunnyjax

He text me for the first time in 5 days.


He said ' I guess I need to tell my parents we have split up....x'


I sadi; 'why wont you talk to me?'


He replied ' you are not here to talk to.'


I replied that ' I came, you chose not to be in.'



then nothing.


Do I take that as a controlling thing? I dont understand whats going on here.


rmb
rmb
Intentionally controlling, who knows.

Why do you feel you need to understand? Just curious. Because I don't know that it matters, ultimately. What I would focus on is you, how you respond or don't respond, how you continue to move forward in the process regardless of how he reacts or responds.
AgentSmith
AgentSmith
There's not really anything to talk about. You know he's an abusive psychopath. He's gonna throw his little pity party now, as psychopaths do, and try to guilt trip YOU. It looks like it's working. It'd be best to not respond to anything he says.
sunnyjax
sunnyjax
gawd, I don't know why I feel the need to understand really. I have spent so long trying to figure out whats going on with him maybe its just a habit…
Also one of the things I struggle with is knowing what is 'normal' behaviour. I have been around abuse for so long I can't see what is abuse and what isn't. So I have to check.
I still feel like I need to go and talk to him, should I not?
mirandac
mirandac
It will be good when you meet with your
DV person. This is all a process that takes
Time to work thru with therapy and group
Sessions.

I have not done the DV route but lots of other
Support and i still struggle. It takes time and
No contact. I am 14 months no contact after
My divorce. HUGS
gebaird
gebaird
I would focus on resolving the loose ends relating to your stuff and your divorce, etc., but I would not attempt to make sense of his thoughts/emotions. I know you are seeking closure, healing and understanding but those things will not come through contact with him. Just work on YOU right now--rediscover the person you were before being damaged by this relationship.
rmb
rmb
I would only talk to him if your advocate suggests it. I agree to not trouble yourself with what he may or may not mean. He's a problem but he's no longer your nut to crack.
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