This is one of the hardest things I think I've had to grasp... my life is no ordinary one. Last February I was sexually assualted while I was attending school and I have just now moved past the preliminary hearing stage, still have yet another six to eight months. After I moved home for the summer, I moved away to try things out on my own, which was fun for about the first two months. I then somehow managed to get myself tangled up with someone who I thought was one I thought I could trust and have something serious with in given time. Well, that thought was soon gone from being true one night which then turned into countless months... I grew to realize that he had not just a minor drinking problem, but a major one. After finding that small piece of important information, I then became aware of his anger issue that he had. Not something that was only triggered by the thought of me myself being a "cheater" and "liar" but then grew to be something that was triggered as someone else being the cause of his anger. There were countless nights he would come home, angry at stuff I had no clue of and then decided to take it out on me. After nearly 8 months of living a life I swore to myself I would leave if a man or anyone's hand for that matter, ever touched me in any form of way that was seen as a threat, I was finally found in a position where I felt it was now or never to find a way out. My life has truly been turned upside down from what has happened to me in the last almost two years, and yet I still have the question of "how does any of this have a reason behind it if people always use the phrase 'everything happens for a reason'?" Not only that, but I feel as though if I just gave up on everything that it would make so many lives more simple... No more doctors, counsolers, police officers, detectives, attorney's, any of it. My family wouldn't be in a deep debt with all sorts of expences, no one would need the erge to check in on me, and I wouldn't feel like just a bad thing waiting to see what else could go wrong in my life. This is an unbearable fight that I'm not sure I can nor want to put up with anymore. Too many people have stressed for me, so many people have put what they have going for them on hold for me, nowhere do I go that I feel safe or that I won't be found by either criminal that have managed to screw up some sort of my life. I want this to go away, I want the suffering of those around me to end, I can't even stand to look at myself and feel like I am worth something, that I mean something to someone.