Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
A close friend asked me to be a bridesmaid last year, I since got pregnant. The other bridesmaids were not my friends but I tried to work with them. While trying to plan her hen I was taken into hospital and my baby was born 2 months premature, he was taken to neonatal and I was on a different ward. I had to pause my involvement in the wedding. My friend who was getting married asked if I was still coming to the hen, I said I couldn't really focus on it right now and needed some time. 4 days after having my son she messaged to say she didn't want me as a bridesmaid as I couldn't give 100%. She wouldn't speak with me so I ended up sending a message sharing that I didn't understand, was upset but wishing her luck. A few days later we did speak and she asked me to be a bridesmaid again and I agreed. When it came to the hen less than 8 weeks after giving birth I went for a short while but was still sore and baby was still being monitored. I had hoped she would understand that I had done what I could, but she and the other bridesmaids were frosty with me and on the day of the wedding I overheard her tell the photographer I wasn't really a bridesmaid. The whole thing has hurt so much, I can see it from her perspective as she has done alot for me over the years. I apologised for not been able to be there as much as I would have liked. I offered to take her out to make up for missing her hen. She remains distant and won't talk to me about it. I am ruminating on it a lot and not sure what more I can do. Hoping for some objective advice on whether to keep trying or how to move on without closure?
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
Thank you for the kind words Ouilluam. I am going to try to stop fixing this, I've run out of ways to try.. I do have an urge to let her know I don't understand, but I think this is me clinging onto getting an answer and being able to explain. I have a feeling this would only make the situation more sour which I don't want.
As I've said I don't feel I'm completely blameless, I was very emotional when she told me she didn't want me to be a bridesmaid which I acknowledged and would have thought she would have understood. I feel like I am missing something? I can understand her been unhappy with the situation but it feels more like she hates me and doesn't respect me enough to even try to see my experience.
Thank you for the hug sun cloud! It has been awful.
I need to let this go, I feel I will reach out once more to express that I don't understand and would like to but I can do no more than that.
You are wonderful people! Xx
Sounds like your friend is to involved in herself. And I think you are making excuses for her because she has always been there for you. You had a Traumatic birth and premature baby, friends should be there for that as well. She just got mad that she lost a bridesmaid and then saying later on she wanted you yo be one, and then tell the photographer you are not really a bridesmaid. Is just messed up on her part. She doesn't know what she wants.
I can tell you I don't have my friends around as much anymore. They got married, had kids, met new friends. It's life. You will to make new friends with other moms and have more to relate.