My wife has 0 friends. I have many.

The many friends I have are also married with kids the same or similar age.

That way, we can all relate.

Anyway, there’s only one person you can change and that’s yourself.

If you’re not happy with the situation you’re in, it won’t get better after you get married.

Have a truthful and direct chat with your fiancé. Tell him what you want. Give him a chance but also be fair.

My husband knows my friends but when I see them, it’s usually for coffee or dinner with just them not my husband. I think it’s important to still keep some close buddies in your life for yourself even if you can’t see them all the time or hang out as much as you used to. My husband has a couple of friends too but it’s all hobby based relationships. Socially when we go out on weekends it’s either me and my husband or us and another couple. The couple friend ships came about because one of us was friends with one half of the couple first and we found we all like each other’s significant others.

I think for a lot of us it wasn’t this conscious decision that now we are only going to have couples as friends. I think it just evolved over time that way as you grow closer as a couple and realize your priorities change.

I think each having your own friends is a good thing, but it can become a problem if he is spending too much time with them. I do think that he has to see the light himself about being used...if you bring it up too much, it might come across as nagging and push him more toward the friends. No easy answers...

What do you mean by users? My husband has one friend like that. If we go out we are limited on where we go because they (his wife too) cant afford to go. So we end up paying for then too. I purposely don’t invite them. I don’t bring them up when planning. He has been friends with this guy for 30 years. If he plans something with him I find something else to do or go to work. I do our finances so I tell him how much he can spend on a night out with him. Which isn’t a lot. They haven’t spent time together in over a year. But I do not get in their way if they do. I may plan something my husband would rather do, and his friend couldn’t afford to do. I am sure that’s bad but I am not fond of him.
All of our other friends are mostly couples.

What I mean by he is a user is the friend isn't supportive. He is negative. He also may not answer a text for days and when he does it's because he wants my fiance to do something for him. My fiance hurt his back really bad recently and left work Thursday because he had a panic attack. Friday this friend acts all nice and asks him to come hang out at his new house. Well my fiance had to do some other stuff that morning, including seeing a doctor, but he drove down there that afternoon anyway because he was glad he finally heard from his friend. He drives over an hour to get there and turns out his friend didn't want to hang out, he hadn't moved yet and wanted my fiance to help him move! So my fiance tells him he can't because his back is messed up and he just thought they were going to relax and catch up; he even brought food from our garden to give him and his gf. But you know what the friend said? Oh my 4 tvs aren't that heavy, you can carry them and all the little stuff and put it in your car and drive over to the new house. Which was over 10 mins away in the city.
My fiance was too nice to say no, he said he didn't wanna be a dick, and the friend was whining about how he didn't have any friends to help him. All he ever does is whine like that, trying to get ppl to feel sorry for him, complaining about his baby and how he has no life now. No wonder he has no friends!
So then they get to his new house and he starts bragging about how he has 4 new vehicles. I ask my fiance why he couldn't load up his 4 vehicles and move all his shit over to his house instead of wasting our gas and wear and tear on our car? My fiance didn't get home until 8 pm, was exhausted, beat down, and had to put ice on his back because it was so swollen and we had to go to the doc yesterday to get him some muscle relaxers.
I really wanna take this devious little cracker over my knee and take my shoe off and beat his ass with it!
I realize that some people are just fair weather friends and only hang out when things are good and my fiance wants to be there if his friends need him. But still this is too far.
I don't need this friend in my fiance's ear being negative all the time. He clearly doesn't like me or want us to be together. I have been to his house twice and both times he was a shovanist asshole to me, either putting me in a room by myself or trying to pick a fight, making shitty underhanded comments. He even told me I couldn't get married because I'm poor. He made me cry and I refuse to go back to his house. Idk if my fiance doesn't believe me about what his friend said or if his friend has told him Bros before hoes or some other nonsense.
I thought they had a falling out awhile ago. When we got back from vacation last month my fiance was excited to tell all his friends we got engaged so he went down to this friends house. He didn't stay long and acted like something was wrong for a few days afterward. I figured his friend was badmouthing me again since badmouthing women is his favorite pastime. Idk tho. I just really don't like this guy. I know I shouldn't hope he loses a friend but when that friend is potentially a threat to our relationship...yeah I hope he realizes he ain't good and dumps him.

The problem really isn’t your fiance’s friend. Your fiancé is the problem here. He is letting this happen. He’s sanctioning by continuing to hang out with the guy.

No respectable boyfriend, fiancé, husband, whatever tolerates a friend talking poorly about their significant other.

Will this guy be the best man at your wedding? I can just hear the toast... you need to make new friends as a couple.

I think it is very important that both have and maintain their own friendships. Just like we have to have our own lives to some degree. Each couple has to figure out what extent that degree is. I am thankful that my wife has her own friends whom I know but don’t socialize with. Same with a few of mine. Sharing eachother is wonderful, however start sharing friends too and that can be stifling. Growing as individuals allows the relationship to stay fresh. This comes from mistakes we have made. Experience is the best teacher. We need more than just our SO to fulfill our social wants. Otherwise there can be too much pressure to ‘entertain me’. That’s how bordom can sink in. That being said, the people who we are around influence our character that should always be evolving. Bad seeds plant poor crops. You seem young. Every one should have a good friend or two. I guess what I am saying is try like hell to avoid having him become your ‘everything ‘. That doesn’t end well