I am curious... for those of us in sexless marriages.... There are many who have kids and say all else in their marriage is very good. But are denied sex ( for one reason or another) If there was an unstated , unwritten understanding that if you were cautious and discreet and did actually come across someone who also was interested you would get a free pass... as long as you returned safely home to family and life all was still good and continued as normal.
It seems there are many wealthyand powerful people who have done this for years. They get to continue their lifestyles and keep their families intact, and are free from any guilt over not providing affection and sex for the other party.
Do you ever think about whether you would have sex with someone else since your spouse refuses you? What if they did reluctantly allow you to?
For me, I had to file and begin divorce proceedings before I could even consider it. My stbx knows me well enough to know I couldn't cheat as long as we are still married. In my mind, having started things, it is like I have informed him I am not happy and beginning to move on. It is funny that so many of us do take all our vows seriously and even when we are denied affection and sex,we still stay faithful (just kind of unhappy and empty).
If you think about it, nothing is uncertain in the NOW. You know exactly where you are and what you are doing right this very moment, so by focusing on your direct experience in the present, uncertainty-driven anxiety can be reduced.Mindfulness helps relieve feelings of stress & anxiety.When I read this somewhere I wrote it down because it really makes sense. Hope this is helpful to others...
I fear being vulnerable and looking weakthat these days it has made it harder for me to be open, and I am more anti-social because I feel anxious around others, though I crave support.A trigger for me is my impeding surgery. It scares the hell out of me thinking about it... and just writing that out is making my chest feel tight. I never wanted to admit that the source of my anxiety lately is...