Is he open and honest about the friendship and doesn’t try to hide it, and they really do have a real friendship, I think you have to respect that.

I mean if after 14 months you don’t know his intentions and have insight into who he is as a man, that to me is a bigger concern

I'm not quite sure. It does seem odd to me that he is so persistent on having a friendship with a former ex when there are plenty of other people to make friends with, maybe that is just me. I always think, "If my S/O were doing that, would I like it?" Maybe that is a question your boyfriend needs to ask himself.

i'm still good friends with my ex we are way past the romantic relationship we had.

You're old enough to know that people often times have a hard time letting of former romantic partners, are likely to turn to them for emotional support when they should be talking to their partner instead, and some people are prone to end up in 'accidental' affairs with these good friends that they can't seem to let go of. His behavior virtually ensures he'll have all those options.

Him saying he was cheated on and would never do that if BS. Often times people who were abused abuse, people that were lied to lie and people who were cheated on cheat. Him even trying to take the moral high road that way is telling. What he's saying is that hanging on to former romantic partners is not the problem. The problem is YOUR jealousy. That's a shitty blame shifting thing to say to a woman you supposedly love.

None of that really matters, because you've brought up how you and you feel and he chose his friendship over you and pretty much told you that if you didn't like it you could hit the road.

I think life is too short to get mixed up with a guy who is telling me from the beginning that I mean less to him than his ex. It wouldn't make good sense for me to allow my lovey dovey feelings to get cloud my judgement on this one. You are right to question this situation. Any man who really loves you is going to have a decent respectful dialogue with you, not take an either you accept my former lover being a regular part of my life or leave approach. He's probably telling you that because he has no intention of giving her up and knows you like him enough to just fall into line.

Tell him that you’re interested in a threesome. Then you’ll know if he’s still interested in her or not.

So tricky. Obviously we need to understand that those we love had a life before us, they will have ex's and maybe even children. I'm a very jealous person and I don't think I can handle my boyfriend still talking to his ex because I'm of the mindset that once I see you naked I can't just go back to being friends. If they don't have children together I don't he needs to stay in constant contact. I may call my sister once every 2 weeks and we live in the same city. But again, that's just my opinion. Until he does something that would cause you to think something is up, you may just have to live with it.

FWIW, my ex-h and I had a strict policy - no staying friends with exes, if we had a group of mutual friends with the ex and had no choice but to see them at a wedding or whatever, we spent no time alone with them, and we didn't even keep them as Facebook friends. This was one thing about my marriage that I miss - we were on the same page about never being friends with exes. I wanted to share that, because it IS possible. Doesn't this guy have enough male friends, that he has to keep an ex-girlfriend in his back pocket too and allow her to stay over if there's a hurricane? Did he maybe start dating you too soon, when he wasn't quite over the breakup?

I agree with others on here...if you're not at the top of his list, best to let him go. Don't let him string you both along. There is a book that might interest you, called "Who Holds the Cards Now?" It's a quick read, if you want a male's perspective on what to do when you're not sure where you stand.

I agree with rmb. Believe it or not, adult humans really are capable of having non-sexual relationships with members of the opposite sex. (Or is the PC term "gender"? Who know now-a-days??)

What exactly has your boyfriend done to warrant your jealousy? Other than an occasional text or phone call and offering a safe port in the storm?

My husband is still in contact with both his ex-wives. I find no fault with that.

Have you met his "friend"? If he won't let you meet her, that is suspicious.

For me, it's kinda natural to feel jealous. I felt the same way, coz my partner still replies and answers his ex's calls and messages because they have a child. But, we still have to be patience and have faith on our partners. We should be understanding and be positive. If there's something wrong, then it might be the time to talk about it with your partner.

I’m not friends with my exes and neither is my husband. I tend to think it’s not a great idea. But I do think in some cases it’s possible to have a deep friendship with someone you used to be with.

Are you jealous or is the issue you don’t trust him? Jealously is unattractive. If you don’t trust him, then that’s something else entirely.

I think it's possible to be friends with an ex however I also think it's possible to have feelings linger and to be honest I think that is more often the case

If there are no kids in common and if you aren't in the same 'friends circle' I would wonder about it

His present relationship should be more important to him....

Usually a couple gets to know one another's friends over time.... Has he suggested that you guys go on a double date together?.... That might be an option?