Sounds like she was more than just a friend...to you. Advice? DON'T RAISE HER KID!!!

A couple of questions for your consideration...

Does she want to be in a relationship with you? Or are you her back-up plan for when things get dicey? Are you willing to be the back-up plan?

For a long time my finances were not in order and this caused problems. This is no longer the case. I am her backup plan for sure. She's off and on with her thought process about being in a relationship with me. Its very frustrating. We have had months of bliss during these 6 years and months of horror. I've always been there for her.

Love is not complicated. People make stuff complicated.

I would ask yourself why you are inserting yourself in her business and her problem. Why are you seeing someone who lives with another man? Set some boundaries for yourself.

Exactly my sentiment; love is not complicated, people create complication. If she is on-again off-again about having a relationship with you, I'd say the 'on' is when she needs you and the 'off' is when she doesn't. So if this is what you've been settling for all this time, that's where the confusion comes from. The longer you stay in it, the more confusing the confusion becomes.

Speaking of confusion, is there some infidelity woven into this? You call her a female friend, who is now living with another guy, who just got pregnant, but you're sure it's not yours, but she's still seeing you...???

When someone tells you something and you're confused, it's not you who's confused, it's they who are giving you a confusing message, and it's completely intentional; let there be no confusion about that.

Why do you believe the babys father would not want an active roll in his child's life ?

In 6 year this reltionship failed to progress... There have to be more reasons than just your finances.
One bad move is to jump into a relationship when the current one is not finished.. This would loudly speak to me about this person's character... Man-hopping never ends well. It only hurts everyone.
It is okay to love someone, but it doesn't mean you should move in together until she shows you she wants to commit to this fully.. 2 years of committee dating , separate residences.

I think you need to get out while you can. You have to understand that what you tolerate from people tells them what you will accept that. Its disrespectful to you and honestly if she disrespect you like this now how do you figure she won't do it in the future. I know its hard but leave her alone. You deserve better than that.

You can do better! She does not sound like a good emotional or time investment... and I'm sure she costs a lot of money too

I don't think people get to choose who they love. We have a long history. She's the type of girl you can take hiking and then out to a broadway show all in the same day. She'll fly down a class 4 river in a Kayak and scream after we fall out only to get back in and continue. Our Chemistry in bed is off the hook. All of this is very hard to find. I accepted she would be in and out of my life when I first met her because she's 20 years younger than me. I agree than I've lost some self respect and this isn't a healthy relationship. I'm trying but its hard. Thanks for all the comments.

We do get to choose who we fall in love with. You've left out pertinent details that completely skews this entire post. Details are everything, and that's perhaps where you've fallen. Be honest with people and be honest with yourself.

I'm sorry Joe, but that doesn't sound like a very healthy pattern of thought in my opinion. But if you truly believe that, I will agree to disagree. There are 7 Billion people on the planet. It doesn't make sense that the only one you're capable of loving is full of drama.

I don't think people get to choose who they love... that's what people who choose bad people for them tell themselves to justify their choices.

Everything is about choices. Even love.

Ok, based on all your advice I'm going to wave my magic wand and unlove this person. Thanks.

There you go, problem solved.