Healthy Relationships Support Group
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Things never work out how we expect :-(
I go to a man for holistic therapy who has listened to me and given me treatment for health problems. These health problems have been caused by PTSD, because I've had six crimes. 4 of these were people in a position of authority purposely attacking me (in education and healthcare). This is awful abuse that happens behind closed doors that no one else sees and in buildings that should be safe.
So I've been suffering with PTSD, anxiety, worsened depression, for about 20 years. (The abuse happened over the span of about 16 years spread out.)
I ended a relationship last year with a boyfriend who would shout and shout (copying his father and step-father). Luckily I took charge and ended it, knowing I wasn't going to tolerate shouting from him for many years.
My therapist and me chat plenty during treatment; he knows many personal things about me (so he can treat me), but he's also told me quite a few personal things about himself (family issues years ago). I sensed a closeness between him and me quite early on, but we simply remained professional ("the therapist and the patient"). Despite my PTSD etc, I can make him laugh during treatment sessions. He says I can ask him "anything". I get the impression that maybe he views me/my attitude quite highly, because he has followed some advice I gave him on applying for sponsorship. He also went on vacation with a relative to a place that I recommended which is my favourite place - he saw me in tears in my appointments, but then saw me come back happy from this specific place after my vacation. So that's twice he's taken my advice.
He recently told me that he and his girlfriend split up (it happened 4 months ago). Like me he had a partner that did a lot of shouting. This explains why he and his relative went on vacation.
Now, myself and my family are going to move away from this area..... a long way away. I am gutted because I'm going to lose this man as my holistic therapist. Of course I went to him for help with health problems, not for any other reason. Nonetheless there is still this closeness.
He is clearly someone who is patient, doesn't shout and has grown up because of his past. He is one of few interesting people that I love talking to and learning from. Such bad timing. Having said this I know him from the patient's perspective only.
Any advice please?
I think all I can do is tell him that he is a very interesting person who I am grateful to, given everything he's done to help and that I've learned a lot from him. Moving away means it is one person less I can talk to in person, and I'm sad about it. I think I'll tell him that he's welcome to visit us any time (because I know my parents will like him).
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
Good luck with your move. Gentle support while you work the transition. Hope your current therapist isn't too hard an act to follow in your new location.
All the best
So I would thank him for his help and support and ask him to help you transition your care to another therapist in your new area. He may be able to recommend a therapist or provide resources to help you find a therapist in your new location.
It’s ok to mourn loosing that connection with someone you trust and you feel gets you. It really feels like a loss. I would though try to be objective about the relationship and experience with him, to protect yourself emotionally.