Ive been with him for almost 9 months ive never cheated on him he cheated on me twice in the begining of our relationship but hasnt since so it confused me how he cant trust me, i kinda understood why he doesnt want me to have guy friends because i know i wouldnt like it if he had friends with girls so it’d be double standaard but idk if thats healthy i dont really know whats right and wrong for a relationship and i dont want to be wasting both our times i just want to make it work

My Ex was like that. Suspicious about things I did. I tried my best to live a transparent life because I had nothing to hide and no intentions to cheat, however he was the cheater. It's called projection. Not healthy. This won't get better and the sad part is, we partners think it's us or something we are doing or not doing and we become codependant.

I am in a codependent marriage. She needs me as much as I need her. I am not sure what you call it when just one needs the other? She cheated on me years ago and the funny thing is that I trust her with other guys, just not near Him. I am discovering the ‘secret’ of getting my fulfillment from me, And now I finally see that building my self confidence (which was gone) is the best way to build trust. When I love and respect myself, it’s easier for her to treat me that way too. I want to live in a free marriage, but remain monogamous. I believe that is the healthiest way. I joined a walking group (coed) and she likes that. Maybe a good way for you too as he may see it as ‘safe’. Practice this(or any variation) and in time I think it will become more and more natural. I would love to have female friends. But I agree with the hypocrite thing. I’m lucky because she works with a lot of men, so I get the ‘safe’ practice. Bars still makes me a little nervous, but I have to live knowing that she will be honest with me. Because the alternative isn’t really living. Jealousy really is a green eyed devil that we all need to walk away from for our own wellbeing

If he cheated a couple of times in a 9 month relationship I think he's projecting his behaviour onto you

He's jealous because HE cheats...... Big hug......xo

i used to be on his phone all the time to just take pictures of myself for him to have he used to rarely be on his phone when i was with him and then he started hanging out with his old friends the past two weeks and ever since then everything has been so private with him he’ll let me go on his phone if i ask now but before it would never be on him so i wouldnt have to ask which sounds suspicious but ive went through his phone a couple times since and he has no female contacts besides his family and he doesnt really have social media so i dont know what he could possibly be hiding or if im overthinking, at least i think hes not cheating on me again but who ever knows really. Hes been getting upset with me when i ask for reassurance on our relationship, which i do sometimes everyday if not every other day but thats mainly because i have no confidence in myself and i feel as if im not good enough

He is a controlling cheater- end of story. IMHO, you would be better off without him. There are better fish in the sea.

You are so young. Sheesh, if you accept being controlled by a guy now, you will accept it for the rest of your life. This just stupid drama he is kicking up because he cheated.

Make an effort to develop some girlfriend relationships so you don’t feel so isolated.

That’s good advice!! Friend network. And whatever happens try not to do the phone thing. It’s terrible. I did that for a week and had to make the decision to stop. I told her that I didn’t need the added stress on top if dealing with the affair. She promised that it was done and I believed her. I was tempted after but resisted. Your too good to be petty. And the fact that he makes you feel that way makes HIM cheap. Take the high road and show him what dignity looks like.

he cheated
you gave him another chance and ... he cheated
you've been true...and he doesn't trust you
he'll never trust you
he only understands manipulation not love & trust
he knows that he'll always choose to be untrustworthy and figures that everyone else is worse than he

Treat yourself better sweetie..... You deserve to be with someone who values you..... Big hug....xo

oh and meant to include

he'll never love you in any healthy way
he is not fixable
he will always be; untrustworthy and manipulative, and un-trusting of others---including you, his kids if he ever has them, his parents, his.......,

he will always use you, like he uses things, to him people, including you, are things

He told me he wants space from me but still wants to be together, he wants to see each other less and spend more time with his friends and time for himself but he also wants to text less so it just makes me feel sometimes like we arent together. I think my depression became a problem in our relationship I just never feel Okay and have bad panick attacks and he felt overwhelmed dealing with it everyday

My wife has depression also. Since day one of our relationship. I have found that the healthy way for us is that I am present for her when she needs me and when she needs space I stay available but don’t take it personally like I used to. This reassures her that a bad day wouldn’t upset me, only make me more understanding and kind. This is how a loving partner should treat you. Respect!! I find that meditation and mindful breathing can calm those anxieties. Try to find some moments of peace for yourself. One thing at a time.