Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I met this woman on line about a year ago. We talked on the phone every week for a long time before we met in person. I could tell she really liked me. Our first date went really well. But I did not call her for three days after that. Mistake. She would not answer my calls after that. I tried for three days and then gave up on her. I was really sad but I told myself the message was clear. There was another woman who wanted to date me and she was beautiful so I moved on. Three weeks later I sent her a message on Valentines day and she replied. I replied but then I never contacted her again until tonight. I dated the beautiful woman for a while but it was so empty. I missed the other woman. She was not as pretty but I could connect with her. She was special. But I did not see that until much later. I stopped seeing the pretty woman but then I got sick and that went on for three months. Now I am starting to feel healthy enough to date again and I miss that first woman. As I said, she was special. I feel I was so stupid not to realize that back then. I think I was blinded by the beauty of the other woman and did not see this one was a better person for me. I feel very very stupid having let a wonderful woman go. As I said I wrote to her tonight for the first time in six months. She did not reply right away. But later I saw she was logged onto chat so I wrote to her. She replied. She told me a few things about how her life was going well. I wrote back asking her if I could call her. But she did not wait for my reply. She logged off. It seems she did nor want to chat. Maybe it was late 1030pm? Or maybe 6 months of nor communicating with her cannot be undone with one message. Maybe this will require a lot more work to get back her attention. Or maybe its too late. Maybe I can start from zero and work my way up, calling her and writing to her for a few months and maybe she will like me again? I really really like her. I have not liked anyone in a long long time. I am old enough to know that she is special. And old enough to know that I made a big mistake. Is it reversible? I feel its going to take me a long long time to find someone like her. At least she replied tonight.
If I were her, I'd think, after that first date, hm, guess he's not that attracted to me whatever. But then if six months go by? Yeah, maybe we can be friends, but if you want more, you're going to have to work at it, which is not going to happen within a week or two of reconnecting.
I'd also, this may be weird, but I'd find it very annoying if I had not talked to you in 6 months, and suddenly I hear from you every day (or several times a day), I'd want to ease into it gradually, see if I can trust you (in case you have ADHD when it comes to dating, jumping from one relationship to another, with new shiny pretty thing).
From a woman's perspective I would say please do not send her any more texts, any more Facebook messages or phone calls.
Leave it be for now, you keep saying "I will send this message then wait for her to contact me " but then the next day doing the same thing AGAIN !
Either she is not interested and hasn't replied or she was interested and was truly going to get back to you about that date when she had recovered from the laryngitis BUT got put off by your persistent messaging.
If she wants to maintain contact, whether it be dating or being just friends she will contact you !
Tell me why do people think that they stand a chance in a relationship when they fail to communicate?? Are they trying not to look desperate or are they playing hard man/woman.
I think you should forget about her you blew it from when you did not communicate for 3 days
I have gotten back together with exes in the past, but there was only a brief time of separation, and neither one of us dated (had sex) with other people. Once I become aware the other has had sex with someone else, I am done. But that is just me. I know some who are just fine with it, since it was during a break up period (no lying, cheating). Which I too understand.
Perhaps a break from dating would be wise. But if you are lonely and feel the need to socialize, take it very very slow (vs jumping in with both feet). Best wishes...