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do I still have a chance with her?

gabriel2012
gabriel2012
I met this woman on line about a year ago. We talked on the phone every week for a long time before we met in person. I could tell she really liked me. Our first date went really well. But I did not call her for three days after that. Mistake. She would not answer my calls after that. I tried for three days and then gave up on her. I was really sad but I told myself the message was clear. There was another woman who wanted to date me and she was beautiful so I moved on. Three weeks later I sent her a message on Valentines day and she replied. I replied but then I never contacted her again until tonight. I dated the beautiful woman for a while but it was so empty. I missed the other woman. She was not as pretty but I could connect with her. She was special. But I did not see that until much later. I stopped seeing the pretty woman but then I got sick and that went on for three months. Now I am starting to feel healthy enough to date again and I miss that first woman. As I said, she was special. I feel I was so stupid not to realize that back then. I think I was blinded by the beauty of the other woman and did not see this one was a better person for me. I feel very very stupid having let a wonderful woman go. As I said I wrote to her tonight for the first time in six months. She did not reply right away. But later I saw she was logged onto chat so I wrote to her. She replied. She told me a few things about how her life was going well. I wrote back asking her if I could call her. But she did not wait for my reply. She logged off. It seems she did nor want to chat. Maybe it was late 1030pm? Or maybe 6 months of nor communicating with her cannot be undone with one message. Maybe this will require a lot more work to get back her attention. Or maybe its too late. Maybe I can start from zero and work my way up, calling her and writing to her for a few months and maybe she will like me again? I really really like her. I have not liked anyone in a long long time. I am old enough to know that she is special. And old enough to know that I made a big mistake. Is it reversible? I feel its going to take me a long long time to find someone like her. At least she replied tonight.
gabriel2012
gabriel2012
I was thinking of sending her a message via fb (our main form of communication) tomorrow to not seem to desperate. I will write "I have not heard from you, I hope I hear from you soon"
gabriel2012
gabriel2012
I think I came off as too soft and too eager because of something I wrote to her on Monday. I wonder if this can be undone. Maybe I should not write to her any message for 2-3 days. I need to look strong again, or at least normal, in her eyes.
gabriel2012
gabriel2012
Before I contacted her I met a woman on line. We talked over the phone several times. And this is what she wrote to me: Hi, I think you are a very sensitive and caring man, I love to talk with you, I hope I soon have the priviledge to meet in person.
If only this other woman would say something like that to me. I want someone who appreciates me, not someone who ignores me and makes me feel like shit. I dont like the woman who wrote this as much but hey, if you know who does not contact me any more I might give this other one a call. At least she appreciates me and that feels good. I am a good man and if this woman does not appreciate me its her loss. Maybe that is why she is 42 and single.
gabriel2012
gabriel2012
I say this but in reality I am terribly sad that this woman does no seem to like me anymore. Another night has gone by, I can see her on line in fb, but she has not replied to my messages from yesterday. To be fair this woman spent months talking to me over the phone and I did not appreciate her. Now she does not seem to appreciate me. And I am sad because she is a terrific woman with whom i had a chance and I let it go. Its going to take a long time to find someone so special. I had it and I blew it.
gabriel2012
gabriel2012
I think I know what happened. In fact I am convinced this is what happened. On Sunday she posted on fb that she was tired of going out on dates with her son. She was probably inundated with men asking her out by Monday so by Tuesday she did not reply to me. I was on for a date with her next weekend so it was easier for her to ignore me than to cancel. I was put at the end of the list if at all. I have not contacted her in six months. She knows a lot of people. She is a respected artist locally. This makes me very sad. I know you say I will find someone better but I have been doing online dating for over a year and this is the only woman I have reallly liked. She is different. And I feel so stupid for not appreciating her when I met her. I was new on the game so I did not know that the rest of the landscape was so dismal. I feel very sad and I don't know how to get over this sadness. I will send her the message you suggested just to confirm to myself that she is not interested in me any more. She is probably going to have the time of her life dating several men now for the next weeks. I am so sad. I don't feel I can meet someone i really like soon. As I said, I have done online dating for a long time now and I have liked only one person. She is different from the rest.
gabriel2012
gabriel2012
Someone suggested I write a longer message, not just are we still talking. She suggested this: ". I would apologize and tell her you wish things had gone better between you two because you were really interested and you feel like you screwed up and let her know your door is open when she is ready to try qgain with you if you want to keep the door open so....my opinion...short sweet ..sincere message Whatever you do I would just be sincere. I would keep it a simple sincere message. WHAT DO YOU THINK? Maybe do both. first a message saying hey havent heard from you are we still talking and if there is no answer in 24 hours then write the second message. And then leave it at that.
gabriel2012
gabriel2012
I hear you peterpaul. You are right. She is not treating me right. She has not responded to my messages and it looks like she wont. She left me hanging without an explanation or anything. I just got a date with the on line woman for saturday since I dont expect the other woman will honor her date any more. But it makes me feel sad. I just got off the phone with her and it is just not the same. I dont connect with her like I connected with the other one, even this past weekend. Its going to take a long time to find someone I like. I will write to this woman tonight when she is on line on fb. That worked last time. But I really dont expect any reply. I dont even feel like going on dates. I am just very sad I lost her. I messed up six months ago when I had her. Thanks for your help man. I will write this message within the next hour.
Aronia
Aronia
FB is not a good way of communication. Sometimes my messages do not come through if I use cell phone. Just call her and set things straight.
gabriel2012
gabriel2012
Ok, ill call her. But what if she does not answer. Should I leave a message on fb? Or is that too much? This is going to be my last try so I want to make sure she gets the message. If she doesnt answer the phone I wont know if she didnt hear it and did not see my missed call. She gets home late and Im not even sure at what time she is not busy.
gabriel2012
gabriel2012
she is addicted to fb. that has been the easiest way for me to communicate with her other than the phone. She is almost always on line. That is why I feel I need to leave a message there in addition to calling. I prefer calling but I really dont think she will pick up. As peterpaul said, I have already tried to contact her twice and have gotten no reply since Tuesday. This is not normal. She replied instantly before tuesday.
Carm416
Carm416
It sounds like you've lost the opportunity with her or maybe she was not interested in you at all.

You may not be able to get her back. Time went by with no trace of you in her life.
gabriel2012
gabriel2012
Done. I waited until she came on line in fb and I sent the message. I waited 30 min for a response until she went off line and no response. I did not call because it was too late. I might give her a call this weekend to make sure she did not miss my message. But that will be it. I was looking into our conversation until Monday and she was VERY nice to me until that day. she replied to everything I wrote. We even had a date. Then on Tuesday no more replies. Everything stopped. How can she be so nice and pleasant and then change completely?. I am very puzzled by this. Confused. Any ideas why this happens?
gabriel2012
gabriel2012
She has a post on facebook asking for a dentist for her son. Should I reply giving my dentist number? Many people have already done so.

I want to write a message saying I would like to continue the pleasant conversation we began last week.
I think my message sounded a little complaining when I said I have not heard from you for a while. are we still talking? Maybe that makes it difficult for her to call me since I might be pissed off at her. I want to convey the message that I am cool with whatever happened, just to get her to talk to me again. at this point I don't know if I should ask for any dates. Its already friday and she has not replied to my messages. When we cancelled our date last sunday because of her laryngitis I tried to set up a definite date and she said she would tell me during the week, which she has not done. I think I should call her on the weekend when I know she is home. On weekdays she has such a busy schedule.
mynameismom
mynameismom
If she is interested in you she will let you know. I think you have done your part. I think you are stressing way too much about it. I understand how you feel, really I do. I have anxiety issues that only add to me overthinking things. Just go enjoy yourself. Date some other women. Stop thinking that she is the one for you and you are missing out if you don't have her. I chased someone down married him and stayed married for 17yrs because I thought he was the one for me. It wasn't healthy at all. And now here I am single again trying to figure out the right way to date. I am learning that some chasing is ok, but you seem to be taking a little too far. Just my honest opinion.
gabriel2012
gabriel2012
Yes you are right. I am very stressed out. Time to chill out. I cant even sleep enough. I will call her on saturday and send her a friendly message saying I want to continue the pleasant conversation we started and that will be it. I will do this for my own peace of mind. I havent called her and I feel I need to. But then I should stop and relax. I need a break. People don't realize how much damage they do by stopping a nice conversation suddenly with no explanation. Maybe she will contact me in a month, maybe never. who knows. I dont understand her behavior at all. She is not making any sense but I cant lose sleep over other people's odd behavior.