I think kindness is great however I think it's the time that keeps expanding that seems to be the problem.... Again I would really be troubled about leaving children with someone who had 5 dogs there that don't get along... For me personally I would probably remove my kids if I knew about it
If you think you want to do this that's great.... Perhaps you could let the father know though that he has to pick up his children right after work and the dogs belong to his in-laws is that correct??... Can he help with the dogs??
Otherwise you'll have to decide whether this is something you simply want to do and vent about when you need to ...smile.... Big hug... It is definitely really kind.... You've already been very generous.... I don't think it has anything to do with being a bad friend.... This is your work ... your job
I've always done volunteer work.... However I also had to pay my bills.....xo

Ive been operational....succesfully until the economy crash...for 7 years. I know how to run this bussiness. Thats not the issue at hand. Im not risking losing clients I already have. I spoke with all of them before the dogs came. And the discount isnt the issue when she is home and working....as then its the agreed days. I didnt make the discount without first finding out if I could afford to give it.

The only issue is if, when and how I should bring up all the excess Im doing with no compensation.

The dogs arent out together and theres been no fighting. Just grumbling :). When my 2 are out her 3 are kenneled in an area the kids cant get to and vice versa.

I own 19 snakes and 2 venemous tarantulas and people still leave me their kids haha

You could always just say "I know you're in tough times right now, but I can't do all this anymore".

I think the big question here is: What do YOU want? Do you want the dogs out of the house? The kids? Both? Are you willing to keep doing this until whenever your friend returns? If so, under what conditions? (financial and otherwise) It sounds like you are willing to help her through this but that the financial burden has become too much.

I'll defend your friend for a moment: Having a parent on death's door gets your head really messed up, I lost my mom last year so I know I was really "out of the game" around the time it was happening. I don't have kids and my cat was able to come with me to my mom's which was near the hospital so no one was stuck taking care of any of my responsibilities in that regard. Your friend very well could be using you, OR her head is stuck on her father and it's simply not occuring to her how you're continuing care of her mom's dogs and her kids is affecting you. This may seem completely outrageous for me to say to some but I know sometimes I have had to shake someone and say "hey, this isn't working for me" or have had to have someone bring something to my attention and had that "oh, duh" moment. Like I didn't drive for years and my siblings would routinely forget how long it would take for me to get anywhere and if I said something they'd have their "oh yeah" moment. I hope your friend only needs that. Only you know for sure if she's using you or is just wrapped up in dad stuff, you know the patterns of your friendship.

Of course you want to help you friend, that's part of friendship particularly during hard times. However, what you are doing was not the original plan and it has become difficult for you. Whatever it is you want or need I encourage you to vocalize to your friend. It would likely help to acknowledge what she is going through and how difficult it must be and that you value her friendship. Then tell her what you need. I'm taking it from what you have written that each time the plan changed, money did not come up. That's kind of tricky. You could address it with something like "I really was struggling to talk to you about money because I didn't want to put further strain on you but I am feeling like I need to bring it up." However, at the end of the day, the choice of whether you do, or you don't speak to her about this is up to you.

But, I do fear what may happen here: God forbid your friend's father dies and you have not had a financial conversation. Now your friend is grieving the loss of her father, and her family is paying for a funeral, and so on. If you're feeling guilty now it's not going to get better if this happens.

I know it's been said but I completely agree with whoever said that it's not being a bad friend to advocate for what you need. Even with what your friend is currently experiencing. You are important too. I'll give you an example from my own life: I took a day off work to help one of my friends who needed a sitter so she could work and who has a very hostile relationship with her child's father. My friend was offering me less money to watch her kid than I felt was reasonable (less than half of minimum wage) I knew my friend didn't make a lot of money but I brought it to her attention and we settled on a price we were both comfortable with. Mark of a good friendship I would say.

I'm sorry I rambled, and I'm so sorry for the situation you are in. It's sticky, and it's hard. Whatever you decide is what you need, I'm with you. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Have you tried asking her husband, or mentioning to the sister-in-law to take the kids earlier, due to the fact that you have now taken on other kids?

Your friend is probably in a state of panic over the potential loss of her father, and I don't believe she is intentionally using you or trying to take advantage of you, the husband, maybe so, but I don't think she is.

I would say, that if you can afford to keep it going as is, with perhaps asking to have the kids and or dogs taken earlier, you will feel better about the outcome in the long run. Quite often business and friends don't mix well, and when a situation like such arises, we are being put to the test.

In her current state of mind, dealing with a dying father, money means nothing at the moment, so for you to ask for more at this time, as some have recommended, would not would go over well: her father is dying and you want money, and I'm sure you are thinking the same. Being that she has no one else to do the daycare, she also would have no other option and would have to scramble to get help, and that would also not go over well.

I don't think you have to do anything you don't want to do, but you sound a bit like me in that I don't necessary live by that monkey circus proverb. If you can make yourself as comfortable as possible, by asking her hubby to walk over and get the kids upon his arrival from work, and anything else that is reasonable that won't impact your friendship, I think that would be the best costume for the day.

There's no point in thinking what if he dies, what if it's another 4 weeks, because it may not happen, and thinking like that will just amplify and drive negative feelings. You sound like a goddess, so staying happy will keep you productive. Take it one week at a time, ask for help from hubs and sis, and think about your friend, and how what you're doing for her, not hubs or sis, will mean to her and your friendship, once all of this is behind you.

The care you are taking of her and her kids is valued, and appreciated by her immensely, even though she cannot currently express it with words or financial reward. You will get your recompense, she's your very good friend, and she is very aware of how much you're helping her during her time of need.

I wish you all well.

Thanks. Shes meant to come home for the weekend this weekend. Its my daughters 7th birthday party, my nieces 9th birthday party and my great nieces 1st birthday party...but Ill carve out some time to talk face to face with her.

Her husband has this mentality that 'because hes paying me' he can drop off and pick up as he chooses.

Today for example...my daughter is Star of the Week at school. As a perk of that a parent can come and join her for lunch one day of the week. Im always unable to do these things but this time I had set it up before her dads stay was extended and before my new kids. So I text her hubby and told him I was off at 1115am today. He got upset about how he coildnt get off then...how if he was offered the hours he needed them. I arranged for my niece to come watch his kids here for me but stressed if he was off early he HAD to come get them early. He hasnt worked past 2pm in 2 weeks. Often off at around 12 to 1pm. But he seemed so offended that I would ask him to come early. Like I should just cancel something my kid is pumped for because it inconveniences him. I imagine it would go over like a lead balloon if I said to pick them up early every day. And I cant afford to let them go right now. The market is so scarce that filling thier spot could take months.

I would continue to watch the kids at the full part-time price ($1000) from now on. The next few weeks of full-time care for the part-time price is a gift due to B's illness. Upon return, the children will be part-time at the full regular rate. You needed her help at one time, and she helped you by enrolling her kids and you thanked her by giving a lower rate. Now she needs your help, and you are giving her kids extra care, still at a reduced rate (being the part-time full price rate). Once the crisis is over, everyone is fair and square and can go on with their lives without any more special deals.

The dogs must go home with D immediately. You were willing to extend the favor, but now it has become overly disruptive and D is there to care for them. They belong to his in-laws, not yours. Find someone with a car to pack those pups up and deliver them to D's house today.

There's no reason to over-explain. Just tell your friend, "I'm so glad I could help you guys out for a while. I know this is a hard time for you. But since I chose to turn away some other full-time students at my daycare to keep your kiddos full time for a while, I'm just going to adjust the rate a bit. I didn't realize this difficult situation would last so long and it would be terrible to have to find some other person to watch the kids, so a $1000 rate instead if the standard ($xxx) full-time rate should help me stay in business and you guys keep some consistency for the kids. As for the dogs, unfortunately you'll have to find an alternative caregiver. They've been sweet to have around, but it's really not a great long-term circumstance. So, I'm going to have so-and-so drop them off at your house tomorrow afternoon. I'm sure having the puppies at your place with do the kids some good in your absence. Be well and hang in there. We're all praying for the best outcomes."

D has 2 large dogs in a one floor suite already. The dogs cannot go there :(

If I raise it to $1000 I lose the kids no doubt. At $650 its fine as long as I could fill the other 2 days for my part time fee of $300/month. But even now $650 is better than $0. I just need to talk to her about right now. Im so tired doing it all. So I need to talk to her about how it needs to give in some way or the other and Im open to her suggestions. Hopefully she doesnt blow a fuse. Shes an over emotional woman at the best of times. Shes an emotional volcano right now.

And she and D are fighting right now...Im on his side actually for it but as her best friend Im trying to tactfully stay out of it. Im worried adding what Im going to in is going to drag me full in.

Ive done business with friends before. Just never had this exact situation arise. Hope it never does again

If it were me I would ask the father to get them on the way home from work.... He's taking full advantage of you and has no problem with it... .. He's their father for gosh sakes
I would let your friend know this weekend that you'll continue to keep her children during the illness with the guarantee that their father keeps the hours that they're their shorter... He needs to think more of his wife and her needs as you are... Let him step up and grow up
It does sound as though you have decided to keep the dogs.... I would let the mother know you'll need to be paid extra though.... This wasn't the deal and it's a lot more work

My kid is in Pre-K and if I don't pick up on-time, they charge me a dollar a minute. They don't mess around. There's a digital clock by the door and the receptionist writes down the time when we walk in.

I talked to her and she informed me she has to go back to work. So they will be doing a four days home three days with her dad rotation. And because the hours at her husbands work have been cut back she can promise me no more than four days a week from now on out but she is hoping to make it three. I told her that I could finish November out on a four day week to help her but in December if it is not back to three then we need to change payment. But in December the boys (her husband and my own) are facing a two month lay off so it may be moot as then they won't even be in my care.

As for the dogs....thats still under discussion as it's her mom I'm dealing with and she's so distraught over all her husbands complications I haven't felt it right, morally, to broach the subject with her yet.