i have been dating this guy for 5 years. He is a good person and I love him, but he has done so many hurtful things to me and I am not sure how much more I can take.
We started dating my sophomore year of college. He is a PdD student. He is now on his last year of the PhD program and accepted a job in Washington DC. For the first few years of our relationship, I was not sure if we even had a future. I would try and talk to him about it, and he would either ignore me or make some sort of stupid joke. We have also never had sex. He says that he is saving sex for marriage, but he does not even seem attracted to me. I thought he might be gay, but he does not seem attracted to men either. Any time there is a sex scene in a movie, he calls it weird or gross.
I orginally thought this was okay. I thought he would be more serious after he graduated, and that sex was not a big deal either. I felt kind of gross for having those feelings for him when he did not feel the same way for me. Right now, I am a 25 year old female. He is a 31 year old male.
Lately, however, he has been acting in a way that does not seem okay to me.
I was originally thrilled beyond belief when he said we could get married and I can come up to DC with him.
He has been acting super strange since then though. He keeps talking about looking at apartments, but he does not talk about bringing me with him. He talked about it being just him and his dad looking, then he started talking about renting a car. When I asked him if I could come, he was like 'sure, if you want' but did not seem too happy about it.
I have emailed him some apartments too, and they are all 'too expensive' even though the ones I found were on the inexpensive side for that area. He has also made some sarcastic remarks that I need to get a job before I come up with him ( like I am a gold digger or something and will not find a job otherwise, lol), this is despite the fact that I have been working at the same company since I graduated college, have money in my savings account, etc.
Also every time I ask him about weddings or anything, he just shuts down and is like 'I don't want to talk about this anymore'. He claims it is because he is busy with his dissertation, but I can talk to him about literally anything else and he does not act that way.
whenever I confront him with something he has done to upset me he is just like 'aww' 'okay' or 'sorry. Then he will do something else to hurt me.
i can tell that his heart is not in a future together, despite what he tells me. I feel like he is only talks about me coming up because he feels like he is supposed to, not because he actually wants to.
What do you do if you love someone with all your heart, but can tell their heart is not in a future with you?
Does anyone have a recurring nightmare? Something that you have had over your lifetime? If you want to talk about it. It can make sense or it be just odd. I have had maybe three different ones during my life. One odd one is I never graduated college. LOL. I was stuck in highschool or something. I know its not a very bad one, but I have this nightmare every so often. I was a bad college student,...
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