Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

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Confused

Famuman71
Famuman71

Not sure how this will work.  I'm new here. Lately I've been very depressed about my relationship with the woman I feel.is my soulmate.  She is very closed to her emotions, unable to voice them or show any due to past relationships.   One moment she ignores me, tells me she wants nothing to do with me and not to speak or communicate with her at all....the next she is calling 10-20 times a day.  I'm confused and at times this gets me down.

MemphisWH
MemphisWH
hello and welcome,
how long have you been in the relationship?
Do you both work?
Doth you both work out?
are there children involved?
are either of you married?
when was the last relation ship for both of you?
What are you hobbies?
what are her hobbies?
Famuman71
Famuman71
Both work..... we both like to travel, and relax. She has adult kids, youngest is 18. I have no kids. We've been in a relationship for 2+ years. Both coming off of 12+ years relationship
AdelynRene
AdelynRene
If someone wants to be in a loving and growing relationship, they don't tell their partner that they want nothing to do with them. It's one thing to struggle with being open about emotions, but I find that a little cruel and misleading. Are you yourself able to be upfront and assertive about how you feel?
rmb
rmb
What does she say when you ask her why she does that?
Famuman71
Famuman71
I'm an open book when it comes to my emotions. I dont hold my feelings back. She changes the subject or says she doesnt want to talk about it.
rmb
rmb
Did you guys start seeing each other right after both of your previous relationships ended?

I think you just have to be very direct with her but calm and tell her when she does that how it feels to you. Don’t let her off the hook by letting her change the subject.

I’m not sure how someone can be your soul mate if they are emotionally closed off to you and shuts down when you want to have a conversation about your relationship?
Yard_Eggs
Yard_Eggs
I'm also curious why you feel she is your soulmate if she doesn't seem to be able to share her soul. How do you know her soul if she doesn't open up to you?
petzazz
petzazz
Sorry to say that it sounds like manipulation. She may feel shameful, thus, she doesn’t want to share her true feelings. Think about setting emotional boundaries, so she doesn’t control you.
imjustme
imjustme
Fighting fair rules:

https://www.wevorce.com/blog/9-rules-fighting-fair/
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