Healthy Relationships Support Group
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I'm just looking for some insight. My boyfriend and his mom have a really close relationship. I feel like he bears too much of a burden and that they rely on him too much. He is always willing to help them with projects or even lend money if he had to. I really like his mom, but I am not familiar with a relationship like this. Hes always the person she relies on for advice. She used to call him everyday and even at weird times of day. I'm tryin to get used to this, but I am struggling. I love this man very much and I am lucky to have someone that will go the extra mile. I just feel like he enables everyone and me as well. I wonder if this relationship progressed further if he would still be doing all these little things. It's like he is everything to everyone. i have brought this up many times and r just creates issues. He said he is scared to answer the phone when his mom calls. This is not what I want. Just looking for perspective.
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Look at what my best friend did with my picture!
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We all have 24 hours in a day. How we spend these hours is important. Watching a little bit of a video about how sitting affects us made me aware of how much sitting and laying down I do. Gonna have to work on that.Your turn. Tell me another truth.
You have already made an issue of it, if he fears answering the phone when his Mother calls.. Something he could do without fear when you weren't in the picture.
I feel the most unkind thing in the world is to try to change someone for your benefit.
He shouldn't have to trade in all the things that used to make him happy for what you have to offer. True love should add positive things to a person's world. Why do people think that telling a person they have been living their life the wrong way and they should now do this or that, is love??
As you can see, your post has triggered me in a big way! ha ha.... please know I'm not trying to be unsupportive. I am really trying to helps by giving you my experienced opinion and advice.
Try to change him and parent him and tell him what is good for him and that he is doing life "wrong" ... and he WILL end up hating you.
If it's not something you can live with or you think it's weird, that's ok. But just move on then, rather than bringing it up to him all the time or questioning him about it or trying to get him to change. I mean, I don't know how you've talked to him about it but if it sounds like you're just whining or complaining about it to him, he is going to get sick of it at some point. I know I would. And it can't make you happy to be on him about it either.
What is interesting to me is that In your other post where you say you rely on your boyfriend too much, you sort of then blame him here by saying he enables everyone, including you. Does it bother you that his attention is on his mother and others, and not you? It seems to me on one hand you want him to be his own man, but on the other hand you need his full attention. I don't get it.
Let me guess, she is single?
If it weren't for his Mom that you dislike, you wouldn't have the BF you love.
Why would you NOT want a guy who takes care of his parents and looks out for them? Would you prefer he was a complete dick?
There are boundries, if he is interrupting sex to have a chat with Mum there is a problem.