I think you should only do what you really want to do.

If you speak your mind do you fear they will get angry with you and throw you out of the family??

We have the tradition of buying Christmas gifts for everyone on my side of the family. Which means around 25 individual gifts at least... My eldest sister opted out and that's fine with all of us. We love her just the same.

I think you should just be honest. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter won't mind!

thanks Shastasue.

Exactly.. im afraid.. and also guilty for having the guts to do it while they carry the burden... but my thought is that if they are having a hard time, then that tradition should be removed.

Nothing changes if nothing changes.
We are not even able to save as family because we are always reacting to 'out of the moment' spending.

I would speak up. By being brave you may be saying out loud what everyone else is thinking and wishing.

We stopped buying gifts for the grown-ups in our family years ago. No one got bent out of shape about it.

When someone in my family holds a sales party (purses, candles, whatever), I let them know I cannot afford to buy anything and they usually want me to come any way. Even though I could probably swing a small purchase here or there, it just isn't how I want to spend (waste?) my money.

We used to draw names for the adult gifts at Christmas, between my brothers, cousins and aunts/uncles andput a dollar limit on it. That worked for a while but then when gift cards became the thing, all we were doing was buying gift cards for whoever name we chose, which was stupid, since all you're really doing then is exchanging money with each other.

So then we all decided we'd do the white elephant thing where everyone brought a gift, and you draw numbers and you then pick a gift from the gift pile. Sometimes they are really junky gifts, used items from home, etc but sometimes there is something cool. It's a fun way for the adults to have a good time with exchanging gifts without blowing a ton of money. In fact, I've not spent any money on these gifts since I usually give something I received myself as a promotional item or something like that.

completely agree bedhog. i would step up though if need be. but i think i have the choice where i wanna put my money

A few years ago, I told my siblings and parents I was opting out of Christmas, told them that I would be donating the money to the little red kettles (Salvation Army), it would do more good helping people in need, than any silly cheap stuff from walmart

i agree with u grumblebear

No. In my family, we're all just scraping by, we KNOW we're all just scraping by, and are content to just be together enjoying each other's company and a meal (that we all contribute to by buying food), bypassing the big gift exchange for Christmas. Maybe we'll all give a little money to the kids so they can buy whatever they want.