Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
What kind of boundaries do you have in your marriage with the opposite sex?
Would you be comfortable if your spouse wanted to spend a Saturday night out with a group of coworkers of the opposite sex, while you stayed home and watched your twin babies?
For the stay at home moms: Would you be ok with your spouse going out without you on the weekend, leaving you home alone with twin babies that you're with by yourself all week? Would you be ok with your spouse hanging out with the opposite sex, even though you haven't been able to hang out with your spouse alone for the past couple of months?
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
Is there anyone that you could get to babysit, even for say 3 hours? So that you two could go out somewhere, out of the house? To reconnect again.
The fact that he wanted to do this and leave you at home again with the babies (not to mention not even suggesting you two spend some time together)to me seems very inconsiderate. I would mention to him how you are feeling. See if that makes a difference. Hugs.
Boundaries are healthy to have. Have you spoken to your spouse about what those types of boundaries are for your marriage? Unless it's been clearly communicated and discussed, it could open up an area of divisiveness and hurt feelings. If you are looking to spend more quality time with your spouse, tell them. Put action into your words by getting a baby sitter for the twins. You both need time with each other as well as time for yourselves to nourish your own interests instead of pouring into your children 24 hours a day. I'm not sure anyone can tell you the right answer to all of your questions, as it is so personal to each situation and how you both communicate. However, if you are feeling badly about your spouse being with mixed company and not with you, perhaps you both need to have a good chat about it to describe your wishes and healthy steps forward.
I am wondering about some clarification as well..... If my SO went out with coworkers the odd time because they were all getting together I don't think it would bother me
If it happened regularly and he didn't want to include me it would definitely bother me
So for me I'm wondering how often this is happening and is it just women that he's around?...….xo
(No, the divorce wasn't my idea.)
Yeah, I know what it's like to be a single parent even when married. It's rough. VERY rough.
Hm, I'm not sure what to say. I could have objected....I DID object. He just didn't listen to me.
Still I was coping well enough, until one of our kids ran into a severe developmental delay...and then it all sort of blew up.
For what it's worth...I still have a great relationship with my kids (now 17 and 19). They're fantastic kids. And his relationship with them is...distant. That actually breaks my heart because it isn't what I wanted for my kids...but it is what it is.
If your husband was here in front of me, I'd tell him just what he's setting himself up to miss out on....but some people just aren't going to listen to any sort of reason.
Anyway...
FULL supportive hugs, Patti
((( Oh and the whole hanging out with women thing...is SO FAR secondary to what he's losing with his kids. )))
You have to communicate with each other what you guys expect from each other in your marriage. Tell him you need time out and away too, whether with him or your friends if that’s the issue.
So if it were me, I would get clear with yourself first on what the actual issue is, is it you need more support at home or want to spend more alone time with him. Or do you need time out of the house. Or is the issue him going out with the opposite sex. Knowing that will help you express the issue to him and what needs to change .