Healthy Relationships Support Group

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Blaming myself

biaxD05
biaxD05

It's been more than a week since my boyfriend broke with me and I still can't stop thinking about him and blaming myself. I'm pretty much humiliating myself telling him how much he is important to me and how much I want to be with him... the thing is that, he tells me that he couldn't stand being with me cause I complained too much about my life and about him, and he makes me feel like it was all my fault. Yeah I've been depressed for a while, but he didn't know how to deal with that, he was being so freaking cold while all that I wanted was him to tell me that I'm special to him... he hurt my feelings so many times and never apologized, while I was apologizing for everything all the time, almost apologizing for existing. it makes me feel like he lied when he told me he cared about me and he wanted to be with me cause he gave up so easily. I would never give up of someone so easily if i truly lovê this person... I try to think that I deserve someone better but at same I remember all the good moments I lived with him, he is such a good person and the most of people suck... I don't know how to deal with that, I didn't know how to deal with that relationship and I don't know how to deal with a breakup... I was feeling like shit before that and even worse after that, I can't stop thinking about him and I can't stop crying while thinking about him... I don't want to be alone :'( I try everything I can to get him back...

rmb
rmb
It can take a while to get over someone; it's a loss, one you grieve. Some stuff though is a choice. It's a choice to beat yourself and feel like shit about yourself. The only time it's not a choice is if you are suffering from depression. Would you consider to seeing a therapist to help you find ways to cope, and help you work on your self esteem?

It's painful to have someone break up with you. I've been there. It feels terrible to be rejected. But you must try to learn from it, use it as an opportunity to make changes, so that you can be happy and healthy independent of a relationship. That's important because if you are not right with yourself no one will ever be right with you.
bonusjack
bonusjack
right, right, right, RMB. If your boyfriend or girlfriend leaves you hating yourself, you don't need that person. Period. Be happy you got away. Now the path is clear to a good relationship, when one presents itself. Look out for yourself. You don't want to spend your life crying over lost causes.
TheDarkSnowflake
TheDarkSnowflake
I agree with the comments above. It I terribly upsetting to be broken up with and double that with them saying "they cant deal with depression" it f***ing hurts but look to a future...is he really healthy for you...sometimes loving someone is just not enough and the relationship is not healthy either side.
Manda315
Manda315
You deserve better. I always say everything happens for a reason. I know you are hurting and it feels like the end of the world. But there are more people out there that will treat you better and love you endlessly. Hold your head up high baby girl cause your crown is falling and move on, life to short.
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