I think the underlying reason for feeling insecure is being so in awe of women you're attracted to that you want to coast on her laurels and let her do all the work in a conversation rather than feeling you have your own person power and something to offer to her in conversations.

Try not to place her on a pedestal, no matter how beautiful she may be, but just sit across from her and look her in the eye as a peer, an equal human being. Try to get past "you're hot" and see where her mind is at. Listen to what she has to say and have some opinions about what she has to say yourself.

Practice and discipline.

I think being aware you get needy is a good start. Now it's a matter of when that feeling starts to stir in you, recognize it and then redirect your thoughts so you don't slip into that behavior. I honestly think part of it is just a bad habit you've gotten into. Just try to be aware when it's happening and then make a different behavior choice.

Physical beauty is often just luck of good genes. Don't give it more power than it really deserves.

I agree with you in that really attractive women can be intimidating. Some years back, I found myself in my 40's and thrust back into the dating world after my divorce. I had married my high school sweetheart and had been married 20+ years. Needless to say, my dating skills were quite limited. I was scared to death! But I plunged into it, made mistakes, got my feelings hurt, probably hurt others feelings as well. I dated A-L-O-T of women! With practice came confidence. I learned that there's a lot of pretty faces out there but there's much more to it than simply that. I got shot down so many times I was like Swiss cheese! LOL But I also discovered that many were attracted to me as well and that was a powerful feeling! I finally met someone almost 3 years ago and I'm currently in the most satisfying relationship of my life! My advice is...stay in the game...with practice comes confidence and confidence is attractive!

Thanks, I was dating someone and the bad behaviour, made her stop having feelings for me. I think I need to work on myself for awhile.

You seem to be pretty self aware of the issue...

Identify the needy behaviors and work on not doing those things. Do you call too much within a short period? Put a limit on the number of calls in an evening, etc.

Calm your anxiety with open communication. Be honest with your partner. Say, I have a tendency to jump into a relationship with both feet, so if I am getting too needy or clingy, just let me know what you need and I'll respect that. (and then respect her decisions, of course).

And work on your self-confidence. There are plenty of books, blogs, and articles to help you with techniques, I found them especially helpful with codependency. But the best advice I can give you is sit with yourself first.

If you are comfortable and confident in yourself, women will be chasing you, not the other way around ;)

I've had the same problem you do but when I was much younger. Now, I'm so shy and insecure, I can't even date and I've been separated for years.

I've dated twice, 1 date each, and the guys were: 1. An arrogant jerk who was a cop, and: 2. The other was a firefighter and an Octopus who couldn't keep his hands and mouth to himself and I ended up punching him.

I've always been told that I'm very pretty but that doesn't mean I'm self-secure, or have a lot of confidence. I do and I don't. I was severely abused as a child so I have a very hard time trusting men and am extremely nervous around them, especially the handsome ones that I'm attracted to. That's the main reason I came on this site. I'm hoping to get help with my shyness and learn how to interact with men so I can find a life partner. It scares the crap out of me.

I hide my feelings because I don't want anyone to see that they can hurt me. I also won't chase a man. If he were to cheat on me, I'd just leave him. I don't like feeling used or being second best, or feeling like I have to grovel or beg for his love and affection. Sometimes, when I was younger, I took it a little too far and the man thought I really didn't care. It just comes from never having known love as a child and not knowing how to accept it as an adult. I am extremely loving though, and very kind and lighthearted.

I need a lot of work and I also need to learn how to be vulnerable without feeling weak. I only feel comfortable when I'm depending on myself because I've never been able to depend on a man, or anyone else. It scares me.

You just need to realize what you're doing when you act that way, and then you can try changing your behavior into something healthier. I don't think anyone is "Normal" but I know I don't want a clingy man. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Just don't take it as far as I do. (:

Know that you're as good as anyone else in this world. If you see yourself as good enough, others will too.

Go straight to the root of your problem: your self esteem. Raise your self worth and work through your insecurities. Solve that and you will have naturally solved your problem with deterring women by being needy.

I need you to be more specific and give examples of what you consider to be needy behaviors.
Maybe the reason why these women do not click with you is because you have not found your match.
For example, I like to have constant attention. I don't NEED it , but I like it.
I am totally find if a guy texts me all day. I don't think it is needy.

I'd say stop chasing women that are out of your league, until which time you have risen to their league.

I follow them like a puppy dog, do what ever they want. I am.scared they'll leave them. I get jealous easily. Hopefully that helps with examples.

so are you a jerk that needs to work on being a better person
or are a good guy that lacks self esteem

many jerks don't lack self esteem

you, at worst you are a jerk capable of self reflection which = capable of change

more likely you are a good guy with self esteem issues, those are harder because they require you to shift your own perspective

try to give someone your best self, you'll fail sometimes
accept only the same from a woman