Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
It means a lot to me to make a positive contribution to my wife and kids…. Making a meaningful contribution to “my tribe”. I spent a number of years so focused on growing my business, that I negated what’s important. One morning a few months ago, when I was mediating at 5:30 AM , this realization hit me a like an epiphany. I immediately wrote a list of things that I feel a husband / father should do on a daily basis to contribute and to be set an example. I practice these things religiously, and I have seen a big difference in my entire family, including their own attitudes and behaviors. Last night, however, my wife said that even though I do all of these things, I am not “onboard”. This hurt my feelings, because I want her to really grasp and understand how important it is for me to make a positive contribution to the family that benefits everyone. I am not sure what she means. She is going through some very emotional times right now, her self-esteem is low, and I am wondering if she’s projecting? If so, I am happy to be her sounding and venting board (I can take it). But if it’s something I am not doing that needs addressing, I need to know. Any thoughts?? Am I making sense??• Provide for my family• Make my wife feel special• Spend time with my kids• Support and encourage• Help and contribute• Practice emotional intelligence• Eat healthy and exercise
You sound like you've mastered self-awareness, and have the ability to rise beyond the everyday things that hamper others in their ability to grow. In the case of your wife, she is experiencing low self-esteem, and to someone like her, the contrast can seem isolating. You're up there, and she's wallowing in low self-esteem, and perhaps that's what she means when she says you're not in touch. But I'd ask her directly without leading the question.
Let us know what happens when you've spoken to her.
I wish you both well.