He's been gone since Saturday? Maybe he just needs more than a couple of days to get situated or he's stressed out and trying to decompress. It's stressful to travel for work and especially to be gone for that long. Plus he's dealing with a time change, even if only for a few hours difference. It's rude to just hang up on someone. I don't know what that's about. Maybe he was in the middle of something. Hard to say if you should be worried or not at this point. My concern for you is what my concern is for many people who write here and ask whether they should be worried. All kinds of strangers, myself included, who don't know you or your boyfriend will give their thoughts on the matter that may or may end up not being true.

What I can say is that panicking over anything is usually panicking over nothing. Why panic? Why not just give him a few days and then reconnect and talk to each other then. If he still is acting weird then just say, hey are you ok or what's going on. I think it's a time waster and doesn't solve for much to just go over and over in your mind what someone may or may not being thinking or doing.

Take a deep breath, try to give yourself some distractions, and just see what comes about in a few days. Otherwise, you're going to make yourself mental.

Thanks rmb--that was good advice. I left him in PA Saturday because I needed to get home and take care of things before going back to work today. He didn't actually leave until this morning, and at this point is still in the same time zone. when I last talked to him I asked when his train to DC would arrive and he just snapped at me that he "only cares about getting to AZ". I'm scared because it's probably going to be close to a week before things calm down and he gets settled and I can see if we go back to our usual call/text pattern. So this week is going to be hell for me. If he is breaking up, wouldn't it be easier for all involved if he just told me that?

Yeah it would be easier if he just came out and said he wanted to break up with you, but maybe he doesn't want to break up with you. I think it's just a challenge in relationships to have things change. And so maybe this is just a situation where you are both going to have to adapt to it being different.

Try to keep yourself busy!

It's just one of those situations where it's really hard to say right now, and it would be wise to give him time and space. Even if something is wrong in his mind, even if he is thinking of breaking up with you for some reason, pushing him to talk and contacting him is NOT going to make that better, and it could actually make it worse.

It's very possible that he's just overwhelmed and/or stressed out. Unfortunately, it's very possible that he's considering changing or ending the relationship. He is the only one who can know what he is thinking right now. However, pushing him to talk, pressuring about how he feels, any of that, would be counter productive. As hard as it may be to do, it would be best to focus on yourself. Do some things you like to do, spend time with friends, or family, or even on your own, just make it something you like to do. When you catch yourself stressing over him, change courses and don't wallow in it.

The reason for this is that, regardless of where the relationship is headed, it is so very important for you to take care of you. If he gets settled and things get better, you are still better off having made the effort to be happy and calm, and he will be appreciative of you giving him space. If he does break up with you, having spent time meeting your own needs will be good for your soul as well. Bottom line, it does no one any good for you to sit around and make yourself crazy with the "what ifs." You cannot control what he does and should not try, but you can decide that you are not going to sit around being miserable while in this questioning stage.

Thanks HappyMama. I went to church (which I almost never do) to try and get some peace, and to ask for a sign. Then I came home and found that, although he should have arrived in DC an hour ago, he hasn't contacted me. Is that a sign? My heart is breaking. I loved this man so much and I thought he meant what he said

Can you give yourself something like a 24 hour period of not trying to jump to any conclusions, whether they be positive or negative conclusions. Speculating is not doing you any favors, emotionally. And it may just help you reset your thinking.

I would take nothing as a sign and try to focus on facts vs speciation. I know you love him and I don't mean to sound insensitive but you gotta keep this in some sort of perspective until you have more information. That trip sounds awful.

Hi sistst524,

I agree with what most people on here say. As someone who has much of similar issues (I jump to conclusions really easily and then obsess over negative thoughts that only serve to push me towards a downward spiral).

Keep yourself occupied and take care of yourself. You are most important in this relationship - not him.

I would also be upset about that stuff too. I would give it a little bit of time, don't contact him, let him contact you. Wait to see what happens. He may just be stressed out or busy....I don't know. If things don't get better after some time, I'd talk to him about it and then base my decision from there. I mean, you could be right in your assumptions or you could be totally wrong.

Keep us posted :)

Day 2. I texted him last night before I went to bed and when I woke up there were 2 texts from him--both about where he was. Later in the morning we texted back and forth maybe 12 times--purely about his trip, although he did ask me if I slept last night (yeah, only because I took a sleeping pill). At one point I texted "I miss you" and he ignored that.

He doesn't want to call me--I'm sure he's been in places where he has cell service. I'll see if I hear from him later (I last heard from him about 7 hrs ago). If nothing else I'll send him a good night text. He's traveling by train and I have no idea where he is right now--may not have good service. But at least today was better than yesterday

Thanks all

So this is the stuff that is difficult to press through in life. No matter what the outcome is, if you can find the strength to be strong, and hopeful no matter what he does, you will grow. I had been in similar situations with my boyfriend (now husband) during our years of long distance. Distance can be a tricky thing for a relationship. We all react to it differently. Most women it seems become clingy and desire to connect as often as able to their guy. Most guys get distant and disconnected. Or maybe vise-versa. Most times it's a process of learning to find a good balance on both sides. I wouldn't give up on the relationship because it's starting out a little rough. One thing I had to learn with my man was he couldn't be the center of my universe. I had to move on from him everyday even if we were together. Why? Because he was no where near me and we could never connect as much as I needed. I had to make a life for myself and give what I could to him, but not allow myself to become too attached. In this situation it sounds like you're giving him space which is perfect. Step back and focus on what you need to do with your life. There's nothing wrong with sending him a little encouragement each day. So maybe if you feel the desire to let him know you're still there for him, send a text saying something like, "Goodmorning, I'm thinking about you and hoping all is well in your day. If you need anything, I'm always here for you. Have a wonderful day!" It'll remind him that you're his friend no matter what he does. It'll hopefully humble him to realize you're still looking out for him, and he's not being a good friend back to you. If a guy feels like the girl is too attached or clingy, they get uncomfortable most times. No matter how much my guy loved me while we dated, whenever I became clingy he didn't appreciate it. He shouldn't be your main focus, especially during the long distance. I truly hope you both can work through this time and come out of it stronger and knit closer than ever. Try not to analyze his actions and focus on simply being a friend to him. I'm always here if you want to talk. I lived through so much of this (and sometimes still do) and now am happily married. It's never going to be perfect, but it's worth all that comes with love.