So, I keep hooking up with this guy, at first he was like "I want a relationship" bla bla, I let things move way to fast and now we're fuck buddies basically, I do feel attracted to him but I know we cannot have a relationship. Last night he came over, always stays the night and when he left he kissed me on the cheek and didn't even look at me, I felt horrible!

There's this other friend. he's a friend of a friend (met the other guy on tinder, that should say it all) and we started hanging out together a couple of months ago, we go to the movies, to have dinner, he makes me laugh until I cry,  I have never let him into my house lol and we have never kissed. Last week I was his plus one to a wedding and when he took me to my house I could tell he was like looking for the right time to kiss me and I panicked and was like "ooook, night! :D" and ran in. 

I went to therapy a few months to try to sort of my issues with men and the therapist made me make a list of qualities I look for in a partner, she said something like someone with less than 80% of those shouldn't even be an option for me. The friend has the most important qualities I look for in a man, he is kind, he is very open minded and acceptant when it comes to LGBTQ+ people (homophobia and sexism is a deal breaker for me), I have fun with him and is respectful. The tinder guy, well, not so much, the only positive about him is that he is not homophobic.

So obviously I don't feel as attracted to the friend as I feel to the tinder guy, and I do feel it is because I don't think I deserved to be loved or something like that, so I am very frustrated with myself.

Any tips? Comments? Similar experiences?