I'm in same boat. But I know I drove him that way

My husband and i don't share the same interests in TV watching. But that doesn't mean I can't be in the thge same room as him doing something I enjoy. How can you be emotionally close if you are not physically close?

You can't change him, so do the things that you like to do.

I feel you. There were times where I thought we were more roommates than lovers. I tried so often to change that, i even made a mandatory date night every Friday and we would alternate who made the plans. It worked for a while but with the sex, I would always have to initiate it. He never would, so we had an open and honest talk about it. That brought us closer but we still need work.

I’m sorry
I don’t know what to say because I actually thought this was one of my posts that I had written a little while ago- it’s been awhile since I’ve been on here but surprise surprise things are still the same. I have nights EXACTLY like the one you just described. I feel like I fantasise about how good it COULD BE if only he....
But I know I can’t change him. I have two young girls so I know we are ok but it’s still very depressing at times. Like now. I am always happy to vent because I do know what ur going through and it really does hurt.

It sounds like you are going out of your way to please him. It helps if you can develop a new interest together. My husband and I like to go walking in the woods sometimes when we have free time. There are no screens in the woods and it is good exercise. Sometimes I watch his programs just so that we can talk about them, even if I am not really interested. Keep planning the date nights. Maybe you could plan a fun date night one month and have him plan the following month.

Big hug for you Book.....Have you sat down with to have a discussion about how you're feeling??

Without taking any action nothing is going to change ya know

Even if you can't afford to live alone you don't have to stay living in misery

I would confront the problems that you are having if it were me.....

Living like this for another year or 5 years would be awful when you're feeling this sad and distressed

There is help for relationships if you both want to involve yourselves .... Therapy....

Have you discussed how you're feeling with him?

Big hug.....xo

I often feel like this. I work too, but my boyfriend's job is far more stressful and demanding than mine (mine is more people orientated, and that works well for me). Not to mention he is based in hotels during the week, so only truly gets to relax at weekends. Sometimes it gets to the weekend, and he just wants to play video games, and I feel so neglected. I know he's not playing them to avoid spending time with me - I've asked him. He literally just wants to unwind after a long, hard, stressful week, and video games is how he does that. Sometimes I worry that it will always be like this. I know it would be better if he was at home during the weeks, because then he wouldn't have to cram all of his leisure time into 2 days. But for now, it's hard. Last weekend was better, and way more balanced. I think I'm going to start organising fun things for us to do at the weekends. I've always been the organiser in the relationship (organisation is my favourite thing!), but I've let it slide a bit during these cold months. Maybe organise something nice for you and your partner to do? Maybe a couples massage followed by a nice meal out or something. A change of scenery can be everything.

I'm sorry if this hasn't been all that helpful or if I've monopolised a bit with my own moans/worries, but just want you to know that you're definitely not alone in how you feel.

My parents did this for a long time. Co-existing in the same house but never crossing paths. It was draining to watch. Their biggest mistake was letting it go on as long as it did. My dad ended up cheating on my mom because of the distance in their marriage and now my family is falling apart. Communication is key. If only they had talked about things a long time ago, maybe they wouldn't be going through a divorce right now.

Is he capable of doing any of this on his own? Don’t mother him. Be a partner I hope I don’t come off harsh. I have seen this before and I am sorry you are unhappy.

This is a difficult situation. Sometimes, relationships go through rough patches and you have to push through! Have you tried sitting and talking with him about how you feel? Talking may help resolve any underlying issues that are going on. I really hope you and your SO mend your relationship!

Nothing is worse feeling far away from your significant other. Talk to him, maybe that will help on both sides on what you both want from each other. Hope it works out for you. Best of luck. God bless.

All of the advice about talking to your partner is spot on. But - it may not work.

After years of me talking, pleading, begging for us to try to communicate, I gave up. Years. In looking back, the dementor things applies. Maybe my ex is a depressive guy, he couldn't have fun with me or with the kids (unless it was baseball). I know that all of the rejection I felt after basically being ignored all of my married life put me into a situational depression. The slap on the face was that he was the one who pointed it out (me being depressed). Not long after that, I had the light bulb moment that cinched the deal for me. I was depressed! I had to get out. The moment I filed for divorce, my sadness started dissipating. I realized I was just so so sad being with him, and taking the steps to remove myself from a bad marriage was so uplifting and healing.

Just saying that you can't carry a marriage by yourself. If you've really tried to connect and communicate and nothing changed, there's no shame in ending things. I wasted too many years waiting for a change that never happened.