Welcome Vanessa ..... Have you discussed this with your boyfriend?....x

I have and for a short time it changes, but then eventually it goes right back to this. Not too long ago he had some sort of texting relationship with a girl that he worked with and it really broke my heart and sometimes I feel like he is still doing that, and maybe other things with someone else, and then I start to feel like maybe that is why he doesn't want to with me.

One thing I have learned is that doesn't "get better once we are married". The issues that are problematic now as an engaged couple merely magnify once you so "I do".

I suggest a long engagement and couples counseling,

This texting relationship that he had not too long ago, is called cheating, and if it happened not too long ago, and he doesn't want sex with you, then what do you think is going on? The red flag I see here is you burying your head in the sand. He cheated and it hasn't been resolved. I'd ask to see his phone.

The first time that he had the texting relationship was about 2 years ago, before I moved in with him, which I chose to forgive. Then in January he was hiding that he was messaging yet another girl from work and we got into a little argument and I forgave him again. Yesterday that girl called his phone and he has been telling me that he does not talk to her. I understand that when it involves work that he must respond to her so, yesterday he worked an early day, and she gave him a call while I was with him. He chose to silence his phone instead and did not answer it in front of me. He claimed that I told him I did not want him talking to her so that is why he did not answer it. BUT I would have felt so much more comfortable had I known why she was calling out of the blue if he says that they never talk. She did not leave a voicemail or a text message (he said). So now it just seems even more suspicious to me. Am I crazy? I totally know that things do not just change because we are engaged and getting married.. We have been engaged for a year and have another year to go before our wedding date. I just feel so ridiculous to go to couples counseling when we haven't even been married yet. I am not really sure why I feel like that. It's not normal that a man does not initiate sex with his fiance, right?

Also, I am really thankful that you both have responded to me... I really needed someone to talk to.

Sounds like you really should do the couples counseling. There's nothing wrong with it and you shouldn't feel ridiculous about it. Actually some pastors/ministers feel better if you get premarital counseling. Marriage is a HUGE decision and it's waaaay better to know the bells/whistles than to be married and then bam things hit you at once.

As far as the sex thing goes,there's really no "normal" thing. It's up to the individual. Is he stressed/depressed about something(s)? This is another reason you should consider premarital counseling, IMHO. Good luck!

Don't marry him. Wait and see what happens in another year. Things don't look solid right now.
The texting thing is definitely a bad sign

Thank you guys for responding. Premarital counseling sounds like a good option. Things don't feel 100% solid right now. I don't know why I feel ridiculous I guess because I never thought that this was that important. I never thought it effected me this much.

There are some guys like that, I am married to one. I felt after we got married I always had to start something or it never happened. I just learned to deal with it...I don't know if it is they are insure or what but I think it is normal...I don't think it would be because he was not attracted to you. But if you guys would go to premarital counseling might be a good ideal...Good luck

Thank you Sandi for sharing with me! Maybe he's just always been like this and I didn't realize it until we moved in together.

Be positive and be confident. If you are good, why would he leave you? Even then if he does, he does not deserve you.