Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I've been with my boyfriend for 15 years and we've lived together for 9 years. Of course in the begining our sex life was amazing and with time it has dwindled a little. Life tends to get in the way but we don't have kids so for me, there's not really much excuses. Over the past few months I've gotten extremely frustrated since the sex has gone way down. I mean about twice a month! And each time, I've been the one to initiate it. I've had to get myself in the mood. I've had to set the mood, soft music, light candles all the while waiting for his basketball game to go off but after a while, I just got to sleep because I'm bored.
Now I know what you're gonna say: Talk to him. And I did. I brought up this embarassing conversation in a way I thought would be playful and fun. By asking him what he likes during sex and what he wanted more of (so I can provide). And he proceeds to tell me, this is not the type of conversation we should be having here. We were in a bar having a few drinks surrounded by adults. After that I thought talking to him would be a waste. But I bring it up again because everything finally came to a head and I felt like he was taking this problem as seriously as I was.
Now we're in a stalemate. I feel like I've tried so much and have finally given up where as he thinks he's trying as hard as he can. I asked him does he know how it feels to not be desired, to not be wanted but the person who is suppose to love you? What else can I do? I'm at a loss now and I don't think he knows or even wants to find out how to correct this. Anyone been in the same situation?
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Look at what my best friend did with my picture!
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We all have 24 hours in a day. How we spend these hours is important. Watching a little bit of a video about how sitting affects us made me aware of how much sitting and laying down I do. Gonna have to work on that.Your turn. Tell me another truth.
Have you guys thought about going to couples counseling? I can understand he didn't want to talk about something personal like that in a bar, however with that being said you guys are going to have to talk about this or the relationship is going to keep going down hill. Unless you want to be in one of those relationships where you don't have sex ever again.
If he doesn't want to talk and work on ways to correct it than maybe it's time to think things over and what you want in this life. Life isn't promised to us tomorrow and you should live it to the fullest and that means having a supportive partner willing to work on the relationship.
Is he dealing with something that takes priority over intimacy?