Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
When you get into a relationship with a woman, how long is it until you start to really open up and reveal your feelings to her?
But, honestly, if you want to know more about him, ask him what you want to know.
I would commit when I felt safe to. It would likely be at least 6 months into the relationship... but I certainly wouldn't leave a woman hanging out for years wondering where she stands. You know?
The only girlfriend after my divorce was sketchy emotionally. I had a very hard time committing to it because I didn't feel I could count on her. So after about 6 months I still didn't have that feeling for her. Sad really.
You have posed what I consider to be a VERY LOADED QUESTION! I spent 30 years of my life with the same man (we were married for almost 25 years of them) and to this day, I don't think he EVER really opened up to me about his true feelings -- for me or anyone or anything. In retrospect, I can see that his EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATION caused the ultimate downfall of our marriage and our friendship. But he came from a long line of tight-lipped people (of both genders) and even though he was well educated and somewhat spiritually enlightened, he resisted the natural urge to share his thoughts and feelings. Too bad for him.
It's a shame that men and women are still so far apart in the way they are able to communicate. Women are communicators by nature; men are "fixers" and rarely do the twain meet.
I believe that in order to experience TRUE INTIMACY, you must be open and honest about your feelings with the person or people you feel closest to. To hold back or shut down short-circuits the whole experience. Counseling and/or therapy could be a big help with this issue. I highly recommend it. It COULD have saved my marriage, but that's all history now.
I was blessed to meet a man post-divorce who is truly able and willing to SPEAK FROM HIS HEART and I have experienced such a level of sharing and intimacy in the last 5 years, I truly KNOW what I was missing for all those years. Please don't short-circuit your chances for healthy relationships and love -- open up! Let your Authentic Self come out. The rewards are well worth the effort.
I would argue this is not true. The bulk of the good communicators, able to put feelings and thoughts into viable word... that I have known have been men. While the bulk of, as you put it "EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED" people I have known have been women.
Now I freely admit that the sexual dynamics of how I interacted with these women is the reason, and feel that men and women, in general are on equal levels for communication.
I see people of both genders being "warped" by what they feel society wants from them. Some men buy into the role of 'fixing' or "trying to be what is wanted of them." and sadly, still so many women buy into the righteous anger that they have been wronged by a world stacked against them and by an opposite sex that is somehow inherently broken.
People are a continuum, capable of anything.