Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
For the past two days my husband and I have had really big blow up fights!!! Over simple things that we should not be blowing up over. Its partly my fault that is for sure!!! But after the inital blow up we tried something that we had never tried before. We took turns listening and talking. We would get out what we needed too and the other wasnt allowed to respond until they were done. My husband would tell me how he was feeling and why he was feeling that way, and how he noticed things or why he reacted the way he did. I would at first get defensive, but I wasn't allowed to respond. So once the inital need to get defensive passed I was able to actually listen what he had to say instead of what my response would be. instead of just being defensive and accusing and attacking him. The same happened with him he would want to initially react but he wasnt allowed to speak. It actually seemed to change the way we communicated and I was able to tell him things I had been too scared to tell him. It was really nice.
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Look at what my best friend did with my picture!
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We all have 24 hours in a day. How we spend these hours is important. Watching a little bit of a video about how sitting affects us made me aware of how much sitting and laying down I do. Gonna have to work on that.Your turn. Tell me another truth.
I found that once I started taking some responsibility for how I communicated, it changed how my husband communicated. We are so much better for it. Not that it's perfect, but it's truly like a million times better. We used to get in some crazy-ass fights, mostly about something stupid that would always end being about something else entirely. Now, we argue but it's more functional, resolves rather quickly, and there are a lot more "I'm Sorry" happening from each of us. I keep reminding myself, do I want to be right or do I just want to be happy?
Just keep plugging away and don't let times where you fall down a bit with each other side track you. I feel closer to my husband more than ever over the last few years of our relationship and I never, ever thought during the first few years of our relationship that it would ever be that way.
Hang in there!