Hi Tommy and Welcome!

Two things struck me, first and the most sad is the loss of your childhood pet...I'm so sorry for the pain that you carry. No Matter how prepared you might feel, this loss is Huge.

Second your parents divorce. This too is a Huge factor in your life, the fact that you are caring for your Mom financially is a challenge, emotionally how connected are you?

Both of these events are traumatic and life changing which leads me to your age....you could be dealing with some situational and emotional depression, topped off with change of seasons/time.

Personally I think you are right on target to take a stand back look at where you have been, and where you want to go...Very Normal and I too think that the loss of your pet and your parents divorce have prompted the need to seek change as you move forward in your own life.

I'm 70, never married only having one relationship in my 20's that I truly felt loved and had complete trust. I had a son a week after I turned 43 as a single parent, he is 27, has aspergers but is also asking similar questions and recognizes how fast time is passing him. He's never been in any type of male/female relationship.

I can only offer that meetup.com might be an avenue for you to find like minded women, perhaps hiking since you are physically motivated. Something physical and outside too can have lots of benefit to your emotions.

Life is so challenging today, and to cope, maybe seeking out short term therapy to work through some of your current pain and challenges...someone to be a sounding board who is not emotionally connected to you as you move forward to create a life filled with purpose and meaning.

I wish you the Very Best!!! <3

Welcome to the board Tommy

You've gone through a lot of difficult changes this year.... I am so very sorry that you lost your beloved dog.... I lost mine after 13 years about 6 months ago and it's so painful

I think life needs to be about balance and giving ourselves what we need in order to thrive

Working 7 days a week ongoing would be distressing.... You aren't taking care of you

In order to meet someone you need to put yourself out there..... A lot of people join dating websites now with a great deal of success

It may take you a while to find the person that you'll love however in the meantime you can get out and have some fun

There are groups to meet new people.... MeetUp's have all kinds to meet new people

If you think that you're in a depression I would make an appt to see your doctor..... You've been going through a lot of difficult and painful changes

Big hug .... xo

That’s good that you’re doing the gym. I also work out. But it’s usually with some music and it’s busy. I really get in touch with the present on my nature walks. In the quiet of the woods.
So I’ve found that there’s alone and there is alone with a connection to ourselves which, to me, isn’t really alone. That’s the healthy relationship that makes all relationships with others meaningful.
There are plenty of people who are wanting to be with someone like you. Hard working, compassionate about animals and family. That’s considered to be a catch. Remember that ok?

I have a son who is in his early thirties and it seems like his generation isn't dating that much. Young people are getting married later in life. But this is the time for you to seek out companionship with people your age.

Seems like it is really hard for him personally and his generation to connect to people interested in marriage, etc. His sisters are all married but he seems to find it harder to connect with women. He maybe has had one on and off girlfriend in his life. He has not earned a high dollar income either so things like buying a house or living in a fancy apartment are out of his reach. He is earning more than I ever did in one year but not enough to date all the time or buy a house, things have become harder financially for your generation than mine had.

How you feel, the yearning for companionship and love, is normal and natural. We humans are supposed to be in human to human connection. You are at the stage right now that is typical for young adults to gain independence and learn to seek companionship outside of the family. Keep this goal in mind, it is a natural and normal human desire to have.

I would say this is a generational thing, my generation all got married because it was easy to connect to potential spouses. I don't have answers except trying to get out there and meet people, set a goal and keep trying. If you are more religious or conservative minded, you might join a young adults church/temple group. Make a list of things you might want to try and go down the list. Try them with all your courage and know that some won't work and some will feel like a good fit.

This last year has been a lot of change and loss for you. Everyone has bad things happen in their life but we have to cope and gain skills to get through the hard and easy times. Sometimes called creating a toolbox of coping skills so we can reach in and pick one coping skill at a time when life gets rough.

I realize your mom might be disabled or sick and your dad or her husband dumped her and won't support her. This could make it tricky for you to gain the independence that is the stage in life you are now at. I think this is a lot for a young man to be asked to do and is actually your mom's ex-husband's true responsibility, not yours. Life throws curveballs at us, though.

Sometimes our lives no longer work the way we want them to. So we have to work on our changing what we need to change. Baby steps. Keep going. Write it out on here. Add friends on here. Respond to others on here. It is like practice in making friends or talking to people. Every response you get on here is just food for thought, another perspective to consider. You can think about it and find the value and also find the things that don't fit for you.

I am over 30 years older than you but I very much remember feeling a little lost at your age. It’s kind of an interesting transitional age because it feels like a quick leap from young adult into full fledged adult, at least it did for me. A lot of my friends were already in serious relationships and had defined careers. I had one serious college relationship but really didn’t have a serious anything in my mid 20s. And I was just working lame jobs so I could live, but nothing aspirational in terms of career.

At times I felt like I was on the outside looking in thinking, what the hell is wrong with me? I had a lot of friends but often felt disconnected, to them and to myself. I felt pretty lost.

I don’t have the answers except I think it’s important to not overthink things, to be yourself, and let go of what you think you should have by now. It’s an internal pressure that interferes with just taking things as they come.

For me things started to fall a bit more in place in terms of how I felt by myself and my life once I hit 30.

We all want companionship. But again putting pressure and expectations on ourselves with that can really take a toll. I say start building more social groups, find some good friends and let your social circle expand. But mostly, try to just relax and go with the flow.

And sorry about your doggo. I get that pain.

I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your pet. I know how hard that can be!
On a different note, I know that at the time I did not want to hear this advice, but looking back I can truly say this helped. When you pour time and effort into yourself to find out what sparks joy and what makes you happy, the right person will come into your life when you least expect it. Finding yourself and happiness through activities and hobbies you love, will lead you to the right person who most likely has the same interests as you. You are loveable and you will find the right person when it is time. Take this time to figure out who you and what you love!

@TommyS. You have an awful lot going on right now. Divorce, loss of a pet, overworked, additional responsibilities. It is all overwhelming right now.

I have been in your shoes many times and often wanted a partner in life to share all this with. I still do and I am 20 years older than you are.

It takes alot to live life alone. And go through it alone. As you get older it gets easier as priorities shift.

In my 20s I felt always single. During that time people were meeting people in bars, gyms, etc. Now, it's all online. I like the old ways. Do you have time to get out with friends?

Sometimes volunteering in your free time at local church or community organizations can help expedite your heartfelt desire to meet someone worthy of your time.

Often, one attracts what one does as you stop looking and searching, and stop wanting, it just naturally happens.

We are never alone and what you desire someone else desires too. Helping your family financially during such a difficult time for your mother is a noble deed.

Look into your actions and forsee what you're worth in them.

Dating is so hard it seems these days and especially if you work and even more difficult if you’re shy. Many women dating in there 20s and 30s online I hear complain that the guys don’t want serious and they just start trying to chat about sex. They don’t even know how to have a conversation and get to know someone or they just don’t care. So if you’re genuinely looking for love and an equal partner there are a lot of women out there looking for that, looking for you. Others have made good suggestions of putting yourself out there, online dating apps, meetups, cute person at the gym you could ask out?
Oh and losing pets is devastating. Don’t be in a rush to date. Work on getting yourself independent. Some will disagree but you have to live your life and your are not obligated to help your mom but you should be paying part of the bills and rent if you’re living at home. Women do want to see you can take care of yourself financially as they want equal partnership not to be supporting a man.

You're only 26 — and by the sounds of it, you're going to do just fine. The only advice I can offer is that when you suddenly find yourself in a relationship, use the following navigational guide from the very start, and no matter how it turns out, you'll know you did your part with honor, integrity, and courage.

The Chart Method:

C — Communication
H — Honesty
A — Appreciation
R — Respect
T — Time