WOW Sara, I am so sorry to hear this. I am also sorry for the hurt this is going to cause the kids. If I remember right, she was told the last time if she starts using again it will be the last time? Am I correct on this or am I dreaming it up?

I can only imagine the anger you are feeling right now and the disappointment as well. Have the kids picked up that something isn't "right" with her?

Stay strong darling and know we are here for you.

Wow, I am sorry that your suspicions have been confirmed. I know you were concerned over the possibility a while back.

I also completely understand letting your husband handle the issue. Being a step parent is never easy, doing it for the second time myself. Have the kids noticed a difference in mom yet? Their ability to deal with their "changed" mom would be my main concern at this point.

Hang in there!!!

Wow, WWIII just started.
My husband told her to leave the house, and now she's ranting and screaming that it's all my fault, she's going to court for custody. And she says she'll win because she's the MOTHER!!!!
Of course my husband is at work, and I have to listen to this biaytch screaming and hollering, the kids are upset -- that's MY fault, too.
It's my fault she stated using, my fault she got arrested. My fault she has a court date on Wednesday, my fault the kids are upset.

I'm going to have a headache.

Hang in there Sara!!!! Of course she is going to blame anyone but herself for the consequences of her actions, it's what adicts do. Just try and ingnore her BS and be there for the kids. It is really all you can do at this point.

Did your husband give her a time limit to leave the house by or say what should be done if she won't leave?

No, he just told her to call Loverboy and get a ride. She's trying to tell me that she was honest with me by admitting she "screwed up" one time. We all know that's a lie. She had to have been using regularly the whole time Loverboy was in the hospital. Everyone noticed the behavioral and attitude changes. Then, of course, the black eye, the wrecked car, etc. I think she's still using. She's NEVER an angry person unless she's using. When she's straight, she's almost too sweet. You could call her a whore to her face and she would say "I know, I know."

Last summer we all knew she was completely straight. She was energetic, happy, reading the Bible every day for hours, playful, efficient -- to the point where her perfection was making me crazy :-) But in the past month she's been slacking off, missing phone calls, the whole nine yards. It's obvious to everyone but her.

I'm not sure if the kids noticed any changes. However, she failed to call the youngest on his birthday (that was her first court date). She failed to accompany the middle daughter to her dance, doesn't do homework with them anymore, and tells them she'll be down on Friday and doesn't show 'til Saturday or Sunday.)

Last night when my husband got home from work he asked where she was and the kids said "sleeping." My husband looked at me and I gave one of those shruggy looks, like "don't ask me..." So I'm sure the kids must know that something is up.

Sara,

The kids are hurt and it will take some time for them to get through this. If she's still screaming, make her leave the house now so the kids don't have to listen to it anymore. If she refuses, call the police and have them remove her. Until then, can they go in another room and put head phones on so they don't have to listen to it? When my daughter used to go off in the house with the kids around, we took the kids in the back bedroom, turned the music up and shut the door until we either got her out of the house or calmed down.

My daughter used to tell me the same thing... that's it my fault blah blah blah. It took me awhile NOT to take what she's saying personal. It's the drugs that are saying this. Yes, she can make choices and has the choice to not say these hurtful, spiteful things but she chooses not to. She chooses to make everyone else the blame for her screw ups instead of looking at the truth. I'd tell her that you aren't the one who got her hooked on drugs and you aren't the one who continuously chooses drugs over her kids.

As for her saying she's going to get custody? HAHAHAHAHAHA, this latest court date will pretty much NOT let that happen. All any judge in their right mind will see is her track record with drugs, lack of emotional support, lack of everything.

Can you call your husband and ask him to come home to take care of this? I know this is probably a little late to do, but if you have a tape recorder, I'd tape her with her silly rants.

Please keep us updated.

Doggone it, Gamma, I didn't even think to record it! AAAAARRRRGHH! It would've been so easy, too, because my phone was next to me the whole time and it has a memo thingy.

Oh, well. I can't imagine her getting custody in her wildest dreams. They've been with us longer than they ever lived with her, and custody for her would mean taking all three out of their lifetime schools, moving them from a safe, nice rural area to Philly (a moderately shaky neighborhood), and with some guy that we hardly know. And that's even before her record becomes known! Our entire family would appear to testify against her, her brothers and their wives, so it sure wouldn't look good.

She seems to think that a judge can force us to let her visit in our house, too. She's nuts!!!

She has calmed down. Now she's offering to bring a drug test kit every weekend, so she obviously knows she completely messed up. There goes my babysitter for today -- I was planning to go food shopping. LOL!

My daughter also always blames me when she starts using again, shes in jail now though so shes pretty sweet when she calls here. I'm sorry to hear that she started using again it must be very disappointing for you, your husband and the grandkids. Why do they keep going back on the drugs when they've been clean for so long, i don't get it. I was on this site before last summer under a different name and have just come back on this site my daugther was doing well too and started dateing a junkie criminal that got her into trouble along with him, stealing with him. So now shes in jail, and grandson keeps asking us where his Mommy is, but i refuse to take him to jail to see her. What a mess, their lives are. I hope your grandkids do ok with this, best of luck.

I'm glad she has calmed down now. Still had to be hell for you and the kids. I will have to remember Gamma's tip about recording rants, may need it tomorrow.

I know the idea of a grocery trip without the kids in tow must have sounded wonderful, sorry it didn't work out.

Did she call Loverboy to come pick her up yet?

Wow Sara...
I guess we know our children better then they think we do...
Our gut feelings are really our little angels looking out for us.

Sara,

I know you know this already, but if she brings a drug test already performed, then we know she can fake it, meaning she can have either someone else take it or do something to them. My daughter went around boasting that there are ways to alter them. If she's there and does a drug test, she can always take something to make it look false when it's actually positive.

I guess what I'm saying is that unless it's 210% fool proof, I don't lay much credence in drug tests. There are always ways to beat them. Just keep remembering, SHE did this to herself.

Arrrgh! I have to drive her to the bus AND give her fare. My husband really wants her out of the house. I checked with him. Loverboy can't come because she smashed his car and he hasn't gotten a new one yet.

So now she's all nice and trying to be cooperative. I can't stand it!!!!!

oh to be a fly on the wall when she tells him why she couldn't stay. Things that make you go hmmm

So sorry you're having to go thru this. It's got to be rough waiting on Dad to have to handle it, what a mess. Stay strong.