How often are they required to visit, and what is the purpose of the visit? You'd think that once the kids have been established, there'd be no reason to visit your home more often than, say, once a year...

Until the adoption is final, they probably have to visit once a month, and even after the adoption is final, I think they still visit from time to time. At least that's my understanding for my situation. I can totally relate NutsandBolts. My CW has taken to just dropping in unannounced. The last time she did that, my house was pretty messy. OH WELL. What are we supposed to do? I'm single. I work full-time, and I take care of my 4.5 yo by myself AND take care of my daughter's 9 month old half the time, too; babysitting for her while she works. The CW didn't say anything or seem any different than any other visit, but it made me UNcomfortable. I like to pick up and straighten a bit before she comes over. My licensing worker left me a message this morning and said it's time for my semi-annual house visit again and I have to set that up for next week with her. It's been THREE years, which means this is probably my SIXTH time doing this with her. She's always nice, too. It JUST STRESSES ME OUT. 3 years is a long time to have the State hovering over your life. I'm SO ready to move forward with my GS's adoption and be done with that.

I bet they do that on purpose, so they can "catch" someone doing something. What cracks me up is that they didn't bother to do any of that when the kids were still with the bios. Sheesh. I admire you all for being so polite to them. I think I'd cop some major attytood! LOL

While the state still "ownes" the children, we have once a month visits....
That's why I'm so upset, how can you "forget" every month that we work and need notice to give to boss for time off! I'm under the impression once the adoption is final they will be out of our lives...

Sara...I bet they do this on purpose as well. They want to know how far they can push your buttons..I swear when the ink gets on the doc's I'm going to let CPS and anyone else in my way have it with both barrels!

Sounds like my He! I have always had the SW's demand to see me on their time. I was told by a Grandparents group that they are supposed to come on our time, I told the SW and he said can't happen...

I can't remember did you have the TPR, yet? Our adoption date is April 13th it is Friday the 13th, too. I don't care, I am so happy to have a date so soon. I already bought my gs the cutest knickers outfit with hat and suspenders.

All of this is exactly why we didn't want to get the state involved. Many have said that we should and many have said that we shouldn't. We are guardians for almost 4 years and get childcare and medical. We didn't even get checked out when we became guardians - not even our house got checked out???? Even tho we didn't go thru the state, we still have to watch our p's and q's and watch everything that we do. I understand the stress and I think it's total B/S. It's also my understanding that after adoption - you can tell everyone to bug off????

Yes..TPR was done back in Nov. We signed the papers back in mid Feb, for the adoption. We found out the old CW wrote all over the court docs that were sent to the new CW, so the New CW has to pull the court docs from the Courthouse. I did the running around on the medical side, because forms needed to be filled out by the doctors.

I would take a April 13th adoption date even if it was on Friday! The outfit you describe sounds so darn cute... Good luck and congrats on the finalization!

These bios have NO FREAKING IDEA the sacrifices we make having these agencies involved in our lives ~ NONE. We are put out WAY MORE than they are!!!! During the active stages of all of this, all the bios had to do was SHOW UP to my house for their visit. I had to babysit them and fill out forms and I had to make sure MY HOUSE was in order. They had no responsibility other than just knock on the door and walk in!!!!! And my son hasn't bothered to do that since Christmas and she hasn't bothered since last September!

All of these instances of CW visits and drop ins make me very glad I was able to talk the bios in to signing over custody voluntarily.

Been thinking more about adoption in the future though. DH would not be thrilled with all the state visits however. He gets enough of an attitude over the Head Start home visits and it's not like he actually has to do anything for those or even be here for them.

I think, in the long run, it would be worth the hassle if it meant thst the bios could NEVER come back and try to take her from us though.

Good luck to you Nuts. I hope the rest of the process goes smoothly.

Can the court force you to host visits in your home?

I don't know if the courts can force the issue. It's a private home, but since the kids are property of the state and once a month visit is a must, and if you refuse, it could look like your trying to hide something.

That's part of the issue with being the foster parent. You feel like you always want to stay on the good side of the agency because if you would happen to get a bad CW, they could really make life a living hell. They have a LOT of power and could take steps to find a reason to remove your kids. If there are serious issues with them visiting in your home, though, a good caseworker is going to be willing to have the visits in a neutral location. My caseworker has really been good, but I've heard some horror stories of some who aren't!!!

Wait a minute - backpeddling here. A caseworker is ALWAYS going to do a monthly visit of your home if you are fostering a child, and actually, they SHOULD. They just should be cooperative and considerate of your schedule as well as their own. I was talking about parent/child visits at neutral locations.

What is CW and CPS?