hello pop. welcome to ds.

taking on my 3 gk's felt a bit like the immaculate conception of triplets at age 65. i reckon i should have made those retirement planning seminars on second parenting careers and planning for college on a fixed income. at least the fruits of my immaculate conception are still to young to argue much. the oldest is 8. i will be 84 when the baby graduates high school. got any fashion tips for an 80 year old soccer mom?

words of wisdom? ? ? how 'bout, "AR-R-R-G-G-G-G-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H! ! !"

i'm into year 3 of my grand adventure and still making it up as i go.
stepping small, praying big and letting god lead the dance. . .

Thanks much arfie! Will definitely try to take the small steps and keep the prayers going… one day at a time. Huge adjustment but I remain hopeful and optimistic

i would far rather take my best guess and challenge the unknown factors than hand these kids over to the foster care system.

I have always believed that kids are people too. They deserve to be treated as such. Kids like to be heard. I used to live in a trailer park and had kids at my house everyday. We listened to a lot of music, downloaded songs and burned cds. They liked to go places with me too. When they were bored, I made up tests for them to do with fun questions. One day, one little girl asked where the prizes were. There were no prizes but thank God for dollar stores, I got all kinds of neat prizes. I did have a few rules. I did not tolerate bullying. Kids are so much fun! Of course, you are used to lots of time to yourself. They don't need a babysitter. Just take some time for yourself. Good luck!

The only thing I got to offer, having had to lend a hand in my own grandkids upbringing, both have special needs, is that hind sight is 20-20.

Thanks all of you for the replies and feedback regarding my post. I sincerely appreciate your comments s and suggestions! It will help!

Thanks everyone for your comments and suggestions. I sincerely appreciate it! It will help!

I am going to encourage you to recognize this is a transition for you and the kids and things will even out over time. Take time for yourself and get the help you need. Try to give each kid some time each week where they get your undivided attention alone. Where you do things they want to do for 30-60 minutes. This makes them feel connected and valuable to you. And allows them time to talk about what is on their minds. Also I would say don't let go of your normal activities and social life totally. Keep connections with friends and maybe even attend support groups for grandparents who have full custody. It is a change for everyone but you sound very thoughtful and loving.

Thank you urban gardener. I really appreciate your suggestions. I’m looking into support groups already but had not considered some of the other things you mentioned. This is very helpful! Thanks again!

Hello Pops3, retiring and having your space and peace, then having grands tossed in your lap is a serious shock to the mind and body. I also had retired and was living a very contented life (2017), then my younger son and his son (behaviorally challenged) moved in with me. 2 months later my son was diagnosed terminal with a rare colon cancer. I nursed and cared for him for a year (he was only expected to live about 3 months at diagnosis). During that year, I had to make the choice to get custody of his son through the courts, mom had turned him over to dad for supposedly a year but had disappeared. My ex-husband had said that we could move back to Missouri and stay with him and he would help me. From July 2018 till last week, we lived in his house, paid all of the bills, most of the repairs and walked on eggshells to prevent him any stress or aggravation. As for pointers, #1-make time for you, self care must be priority one. #2-get everybody into counseling, individual and family group. Not sure what your situation is but this has been a major upheaval (trauma) for all of you. #3-make sure you are getting all of the assistance that you are eligible for in your state, and child support if applicable.

Thank you very much Debbip. I really appreciate you sharing what you encountered and for your guidance. It’s been seven months now and I’m doing better with the self care piece; still more work to be done but I think I’m getting there. Kids are in counseling now but I hadn’t considered family group. Will give that serious thought. And have also checked into other services and assistance that’s available. Taking things one day at a time, but getting advice from folks such as yourself that have landed into a similar situation as mine has been really helpful. Thank you! And wishing you all the best.

Hello Pops3, arfie, Debbip, urbangardener, GreenEyes727, mtd, and others posting. Wow, so good to hear similar stories. My grandson has been living with me for 6 years, and what an adjustment. One day, free as a bird, reveling in some changes I had made for myself, and a week later, in court for an emergency hearing. I have adjusted, but it is a long haul.