Oh, I forgot to also let you know the Investigator from CPS came right out and said the call made about me was a CYA call. When I asked her what that meant, she told me Cover Your A$$.

I was heading to bed and decided to come read for a min. OMGosh, the things you have been through are HORRIFIC to say the least.

Ummmm can we say lawsuit? This is deplorable and underhanded at the hands of that worker. I hope that something is done. She should NOT be able to continue being a CW in light of all of this. Have you thought about a lawsuit against her/them or are they afraid of this at this point.

Wow, your case sounds very complex. I read one of your older posts when you had court coming up and sounded excited because you said that you knew either you or your daughter would get the kids back. But your daughter is failing her UA's? Or has been? Would not be a good situation for the kids if she is indeed still using. Would you have really been excited to see her get them back under circumstances where she's using?

I think I understand what mysterinc was saying in that CPS may feel that you would give your daughter free access to the kids if you got them back and it sounds like they don't think that is a good idea. Which if she is indeed failing UA's I could see what their concerns are.

As hard as it is, in situations like this a lot of times you can't have both. Meaning, you either stand 100% for the kids and they are priority even if that means losing your grown daughter and/or cutting the ties for the GK's sake. Or you don't. If CPS thinks that you would give into your daughters desires in regards to her involvement with the children and they feel she is a risk to them, then that can definitely hinder your efforts with them and the court.

It's a tough situation to be in! In my case, I love my grown child. Always will. However, I have to protect my grandchild first and foremost and unfortunately that has meant letting go of my grown child. I learned that I can't load myself up with guilt over the choices they have made that brought us to this place in time. They are grown and unfortunately they have and continue to make bad choices. All I can do now is focus on my GC.

At the time I was excited about my daughter getting the kids back, that was when cps was giving permission for my oldest gd to go to visits with her to see the kids. I was given the impression my daughter was following the rules. In no way would I have known dd wasnt doing UAs.
I do love my daughter, just like I love my oldest son who is the father of my gd I have gaurdianship of for the last 8 years, but just because I love them, doesn't mean I allow them to bring their darkness into the gks lives or ours. I haven't seen my son in years, during this time of foster care I haven't really seen my dd, most is text or email. Since the information on the UA's came out, I only text to see how the kids are since she gets to see them every week. She messed up, I didn't and the kids didn't!
Again, if cps is worried, don't you think they should sit down and talk to me? The supervisor and us had an meeting set in March. The supervisor cancelled, without a reschedule and to this day I'm still waiting for that meeting. The old caseworker had that talk with me a year ago, after our talk he saw I have the kids best interest first. The old caseworker knew I stopped visits when need be, he sent me the monthly call sheet and ua report to help me. This caseworker refused, she told me she doesn't do email. I have been in the dark since Nov. of last year, when this CW took over. But yet I'm suppose to have a crystal ball that should inform me of everything that is going on in this case, because the CW and Supervisor doesn't want to talk, they just want to assume and accuse. You can only make a decision based on the information you have. I'm still upset that cps knew dd wasn't doing ua's yet gave permission for my gd to go to visits with her, then tried to put the blame on me with the hotline call!

Gammalove, The caseworker is no longer a CW. She is a person who takes notes at Team Decision Meetings. They tried to say it was a promotion. I have a friend in CPS who is a supervisor in this state and and informed me the job is a Lateral move. At my last visit the Parent aide informed us that the CW will be at the hearing "since she knows the case" But in reality she is not the caseworker any longer...This is good news for future caregivers and their families! My husband and I would like to think it was in part due to what she did to us on this case, since it happened after the DOP was contacted.

Of course we have a law suit we could easily win. The proof is overwhelming across the board . Right now all I care about is getting my gk's back home where they should have been months ago.

The unfortunately reality is when you turned the kids over to them that put them in the drivers seat. I know your health was an issue and you did what you thought best for the kids. Unfortunately, it's snowballed into what it is today it sounds like.

I do hope anyone reading this and following your story will consider all other options if they need respite care for their gk's, such as another relative, friend of the family, etc., as turning them over to the state to care for might not turn into a temporary thing and they too might find themselves fighting to get their gk's back. It's just an awful situation and I feel so bad for you.

It sounds to me like they don't feel obligated to meet with you since they cancelled that meeting and didn't reschedule. I imagine the CW's in general have tons of cases and they have the info they need on your case (even if some of it isn't accurate) so they may feel they don't have the time to spare to do a meeting. I know that is so aggrevating when someone won't listen or let you explain your side of things.

Who is the gd that was going to the visits w/your daughter? Is that also her child? Was there a need for her to go to those visits or just her desire to go? In the future, I would say not to risk it and just try and explain to her that right now she'll have to wait a bit before she can go with your daughter to visits. That way it eliminates the concern over that issue.

I agree...the main reason I'm sharing is to educate. I wish I had a realative that could have come and help me when I was ill. My closes family member lives in NC and I live in AZ. My GD who I have gaurdianship of is my oldest son's. The visits were requested my my 6 year old GD who is in the foster home and the Caseworker had to give the permission. At that time I was waiting for a Parent Aide to contact me of our (husband and I) visits to resumme.
The day of court that the results were told to us, I went home and explained to my oldest GD she will not be allowed to be with her Aunt and I told her why. This made a great opening on drugs use since she was starting 7th grade this year and even though we had talked about it with her the past few months, This struck home, which gave a bigger picture to my GD of why to say no to drugs. My GD told the CPS investigator of our talk...Like I said, I can only act upon with the information I'm given. When I got the information I applied it. The CPS caseworker had kept me in the dark for months!

My first SW also had an opinion that I might allow my son around my GS. The only reason he got that was because the SW who did our home & background assessment told me that she understood if I wanted to help my son "the bio mom took off with all their money and he became homeless", Because I was new to cps and I thought, "I have to help my son after she said that I wanted to do whatever they suggested because I didn't know any better! So, I found him a place to stay until he got on his feet. Even though I knew he was in the wrong to take off with bio mom & GS when CPS was looking for them from "my complaint"?? I want to do what the 1st SW told me I should do!! I told the SW in-charge of our case that is the only reason I helped him because the other SW implied that I should help him. He told me well that is when they thought there was going to be unification with bio dad. I then told SW in no way will I help my son to set things straight. However; I still felt the SW made his own opinion and did many things to make things hard for me, he wouldnt help get the services and support I needed for my GS. He too had a big EGO...so I knew I had to feed his ego so we can buy time to show the court our efforts are all for the safety of my GS and that we intended to adopt him. My son didn't get visits with GS until we changed SW's and that SW said my son was suppose to get visits and the 1st SW was wrong, my son's 1st visit was over a year of my GS in the foster system!!

I still feel as though I am always on alert with anything to do with my GS...I spend most of my time caring for him & his special needs in a system that is not setup up to help these children & for working caregivers. I have to take off work at least 1 1/2 days per week and now that my GS is in a New Head Start Daycare he is coming home with all this sickness we have already had a bad Gastro Virus which all of us got & had to take off work & my daughters took off school and now he has a bad cough which I had to take him to Dr's because the daycare (who gave it to him) won't take him if he is sick!! I thought things would get better for usit now seems as if it is getting worse.

Sorry...I just go off on my own tangent

It continues to amaze me how differently some of these cases are handled. I have been fostering my GS for 2.5 years now & Bio mom has never dropped 1single time clean. She doesn't even bother, she just tells them she's still using rather than waste money on tests, but she has never been denied visits as long as I supervise them. For the 1st 9 months or so a caseworker would meet her & supervise visits 2-4 times a month, but they eventually just gave all of that responsibility to me - for my son and for her. They aren't a couple & haven't been since I got got Dcfs involved, so that has meant supervising visits seperately for them. At times, I have felt pretty frustrated spending time in SW meetings & supervising visits & having to fill out a form every time to boot. At any rate, I guess my main point is how different agencies & caseworkers can be. I like the one I have now, but I still feel like I'm constantly under the radar & going on 3 years, I'm quite tired of it. Taking care of my GS is definitely the easy part!!!!!