Buy her a book about girls growing up & give it to her as a gift & tell her she can read it when she's ready. Maybe curiosity will get her to at least look through a book in the privacy of her own room?

Not the best solution, but she will have to learn about it in school. You could probably check in with them to find out exactly when they teach it and what they teach. If they start the lesson, she may end up coming to you with questions. I would say just keep it open and casual for now.

I've found that girls that age get grossed out by anything having to do with bodily functions. I agree with Beks - she'll learn most of it at school and may become more comfortable talking about it.

Please do not do the book thing. At age 12 I rushed to my mother when I saw blood. She handed me a Kotex phamphle on how to wear a pad.no questions no answers. I am sure she has some idea but is scared. You have opened the door. Allow her time to deal with it. She will learn the basics at school. The moral issues may come from you when she is ready. Her curiosity will drive her to look further into it.

I'll never forget when our eldest was about six, and from the back seat I heard "where do babies come from?" I remembered that you should answer what was asked, because that means they're ready to hear it. So I began. I got about two sentences out and she said "what are we having for lunch?"
LOLOLOLOL!

When my grandson was in third grade, long before I anticipated sex education, he came home and said he had a joke. "What does Monica Lewinsky have in common with a vending machine?" I said: "I don't know." I held my breath as the words came out of his mouth:"insert Bill". I stuttered: "I don't get it". He said: I don't either but it's funny, isn't it?" I silently thanked God for getting through that one! 8 was a young age to explain that one.

I have a book and offered to read it with her or left her read it alone. She refused. Thanks to her mom this kid is scared of blood and refuses to look at blood and screams at the sight of it.

You may have a few years yet - hopefully she'll have calmed down about it by then. I got mine at 11, but most start a little later. Our eldest was 14 and the middle girl 12...

I was only 11, too.
Im curious as to why you think a book is a bad idea, Daisy.

Gmail, the book is not a bad idea but it cannot replace communication between mom (grandmom) and child. My mother never spoke to me about it..just said "read the book" which was really a pamphlet. I was left with a lot of unanswered questions which had a negative affect on me. I withdrew, afraid to ask anyone. My mother was not a bad mother but in this she was very wrong.

Daisy ... my situation was similiar. My mother left a Kimberley Clark package that included some pads, pamplet and the belt contraption, on my bed. That's it. No discussion ever... no sex talk .... nothing. It left me feeling ignorant and scared ( and dirty ) I think books can ASSIST with the discussion, but shouldn't be a substitute. It's a bit uncomfortable for parent and child, but it has to be done. Requires prior preparation, assessment of the child's comfort level and receptiveness, and most of all, our own healthy and open attitude...and clearly leaving the door open to discuss further.

My mom did talk with me about stuff like that, but she also gave me a book called "Facts of Life and Love for Teen-Agers" by Evelyn Millis Duval. I DEVOURED that book, and referred to it often.

I'm sure some of the advice is out of date, but it was a terrific way for teens to learn about their own bodies.

http://www.amazon.com/Facts-Life-Evelyn-Millis-Duvall/dp/B000L3RWHU

That was the only reason I suggested it was because the girl refuses to talk about it even though grammy would like to have the communication. I just figured having the book to look at if shes too embarrassed to talk might be better than being blind sided if she's unlucky like I was & gets her period early. Knowing nothing & finding blood could be pretty scary.

If the girl were too shy that would be a different story. I have a feeling bio mom told her a lot and she is scared. The things bio mom used to tell me in detail about her period, the size and shape of her shit, what she did when she was constipated, about blow jobs ect., would make any one embrassed. Deceased grandmother accused both bio dad and maternal granddad of sexual abuse. She tried to get the girls to accuse them but they would not.

Gd will not talk about it so I have no idea just what she was told about by the crazy ladies , both ladis would go to bed for their period.

Wow, lets hope she didnt scar her for life! How sad for her. All the more reason, Im sure, that you wish she would listen to you or at least glance through an educational book. Do you have another female friend or relative you could bring up the subject with & have a little discussion while GD is within hearing distance? Like somehow non-chalantly, or do you think she would just leave the room if she even heard it brought up? Sometimes kids want to listen if they think you DON'T want them to hear.....