This is off topic as far as raising my GS so hope it's okay to post. Haven't been on for a few weeks - life has been so frantic. My dad has Alzheimer's and he's now in a Memory Care facility. I only have one brother who is disabled with Huntington's Disease, but he is totally competent. He's an alcoholic who lived off the system and sponged from my parents his entire life. He left his wife when his three kids were in grade school and she moved about 90 min. away with them so we haven't seen them a lot. They are all adults now. One son seems to be doing well, nice wife, nice family, lives about an hour from us but we hardly see him. Other son is a drifter - always trying to 'start his own business', etc., sponging off everyone in the meantime. He was caught selling pot once. Daughter is twice married and divorced with a child by each husband. One of her sons is 18 and other is 7. She's always been trouble - record for retail theft, worthless checks, bail jumping, illegal drugs, driving after revocation 7th offence, etc.

My brother lived with my dad for about 3 years until his daughter begged him to move in with her so she could use his disability to help pay her rent. She does not work - can't hold a job when she sleeps for days at a time after she runs out of her pills.

I have power of attorney for my dad and have been paying his bills - for the memory care facility, health insurance premiums, deductibles, and I set up an irrevocable burial trust so we will not have to pay for his funeral like we did for my father-in-law. My brother wanted to move into Dad's place, so he and his daughter moved in. I asked him if they wanted any of the furniture and they said 'no - we have our own furniture'. I took my mother's hutch that she'd always told me I could have, the coffee table I'd loaned my dad, a small table lamp that I'd helped my mother refinish when I was still in high school, my parent's dresser and chest that they'd had from when they were first married (I had to have the broken drawers repaired), and a few dishes. Everything else was still at the house when they moved in so they put it all in the garage - two sofas, three chairs, dinnette set, dishes, pots, pans, mower, snow blower, power tools, electric appliances, etc. - everything else.

I did not hear from them and my neice's cell phone was disconnected, so I stopped over there. BIG mistake! My neice & brother screamed at me - accused me of 'taking everything' including my dad's money! Dad is going to run out of money and I'll need to apply for Medical Assistance for him next month. The average cost of a facility is $8,000/month and average length of stay is 12 years. So, unless you have a million dollars in the bank, you'll need MA to pay for your stay. I am NOT a theif! I would never steal from anyone, and especially my disabled father! They act like I should have taken money from my dad's bank accounts and handed it out to them! They even berated me for doing the burial trust fund for his funeral! I can't just hand them money - Dad's money is for his care! When I apply for MA for him, I need to account for how his money was spent and it has to be spent on him for his care - I can't just hand it out to my greedy relatives. They have been going around to all of our relatives and spreading lies - telling everyone that I stole my dad's thngs. For example, my brother said I took my dad's guns. Three years ago when my GS, Tyler, started hunting, my dad gave him the two guns he had left. He'd given his other guns to my brother years ago, and my brother and his second wife sold them to buy cigarrettes and beer. Dad was completely competent at that time and he was so thrilled that Tyler shot both of his deer with the guns he'd given him.

I am so upset! All of the old hurts are coming back - all the times I watched my mother cry because her son did not even phone her on her birthday or mother's day, but he would show up weekly to 'borrow' money that he never paid back. Now, and this is the real kicker - there's a new program available for diabled called IRIS and my brother applied for it and is receiving money 'for his care'. Yours and my tax dollars are paying his drug addict daughter $4,000 per MONTH to 'take care of' my brother. Which consists of doing nothing since my brother does not need any care. And, IRIS is also paying to 'remodel' Dad's place - new windows, flooring, etc. The remodeling is being done by my neice's sleazy boyfriend. He's a 'handy man' - he was homeless and living in his van in the driveway until he started 'dating' my neice and moved in. He cut his finger off at his last job and is suing the person who hired him. No doubt she must have stood there and personally cut off his finger! The yard is full of junk - old windows, etc., and I would be willing to bet that they are using shoddy, used materials and billing the government for new things, and making a lot of money in the process. Again, yours and my tax dollars hard at work!

Tyler's mom was here from Chicago for Christmas and she was shocked that our family are the only ones who visit Dad - she could not believe she and her sister and their kids are the only ones who were there - his son and none of Dad's other grandchildren or great-grandchildren have ever visited him. It's pitiful.

Thanks for listening and letting me vent.