Gay Men's Challenges Support Group
This community is dedicated to the challenges that gay men face, both between the partners in a relationship and from other influences (family, society, etc.). Find support and talk to others who may be facing the same challenges, and share your experience.
Many of you are probably familiar with the furor caused recently by Reverend Ed Bacon of Pasadena's Episcopal Church when he said on Oprah that he thought being gay was a gift from God. Of course, the folks on the religious right took immediate offense at that and disagreed vehemently. How does everyone feel about this? I think being gay can be a great burden but sometimes a gift. Many times I feel that the burden part predominates--the animosity of many in this world against homosexuality, the sense of isolation we feel, the struggle for self acceptance, the superficiality of much of gay culture. Hard to feel very positive about any of that. on the other hand, I do think being gay gives us insight into other persecuted groups and can help us develop our compassion and goodness as spiritual beings. Many gay males are also sensitive and creative types, although the general culture tends to stigmatize these qualities in males. But I do think it's a gift to be in touch with your feelings in a way that many straight guys are terrified of--their masculinity is on the line. To be free of that concern can be liberating. Anyways, I'm interested in the general consensus here.
I'm not religious, first. So "gift from God" is a bit much for me...
Second, someone on here said something to the effect of "be yourself". So trite, but so true. It's like being red-headed or left-handed...sure you could change those things superficially but you wouldn't be your natural self. Verdasco is a lefty and he just beat Murray, one of the best players in the world :)
I've also never really been in the closet...came out at 17 and never made it an issue so neither did anyone else in my life. THIS WAS IN THE ST. LOUIS SUBURBS IN '91!!! I don't sell anyone short on what they can handle and who they love...
I honestly don't believe it's anyone's business who I love or sleep with but if they want to share in my happiness, perfect! Simultaneously, no one else has any right to decide how many rights I receive in this country. We should have absolutely no fear of being ourselves, no matter how we were born.
I am becoming very politically active about GLBT equality...unfortunately we are not going to be given our equal rights without fighting for them (that even SOUNDS ridiculous...fighting just to be equal?! In 2009?! People are crazy!) as Prop. 8 showed. I have high hopes for our new NY State legislature, so cross our collective fingers and contact your own representatives to spread the love!
All the best in the new year!!
Murray got beat? Im a Scot and this was going to be his first grand slam ha ha
Ya dog
To preface my remarks, let me just say I've always HATED when people say things like "it was meant to be" or "there's a reason for everything."
My response to that has always been, from my atheist perspective, that "shit happens" and often it happens "for no reason whatsoever." If humankind can be considered to have a gift, then it is this: somehow we are able to go through the most horrendous life experiences, survive them, and remarkably learn something in the process. The human capacity for resiliency never ceases to amaze me. Yes, there are limits, otherwise there would be no suicide, yet there is no shortage of tales of survival. Resiliency appears to be a trait that the human race possesses collectively, even if individually we have it in different measures.
Having said THAT, I must also remark that it is my firm belief that the "burden" of being gay is precisely what the gay-haters wish us to bear.
Therefore, in an act that is both one of self-affirmation and of social defiance, I declare that my gayness is nothing less than a gift. It is the warp and woof of the fabric of my life. It is who and how I am. It brings me joy and love. It is the expression of my soul, the nature of my family, the flavor of my love.
I have spent TOO MANY YEARS believing that I was unworthy of love and that I would never find love...
TOO MANY YEARS believing I was an abomination to God...
TOO MANY YEARS believing my love didn't count...
...and that BURDEN OF SELF-LOATHING was not from my gayness...
...but exactly what the self-righteous, judgmental, legalistic Born-Again Pharisees wished to punish me with for the CRIME of being FULLY myself.
I will celebrate my gay self, my gay marriage, my gay soul.
I will celebrate my man's body, my aging body, with all its hair, wrinkles, and rolls of fat, aches and pains, endorphin highs, the age lines and the laugh lines (twinks, eat your heart out - someday you'll look like me, but will you be as content?)
I will celebrate my loves, my family, the beauty I find around me.
I will accept NO definition of gay that does not fully embrace my wholeness and fullness of being, NO definition of gay that does not celebrate the joy of being alive, the fire of my gay being.
It is a personal statement.
It is a political statement.
It is the truth of my life.