Gastric Bypass Surgery Support Group
Gastric bypass (GBP) is any of a group of similar operative procedures used to treat morbid obesity, a condition which arises from severe accumulation of excess weight in the form of fatty tissue, and the health problems ("co-morbidities") which result. If you are considering gastric bypass or have had it, join the community where we share our experiences and find support.
Today is a cry day for me... I realized the other day that as much as I cry over hallmark commercial and cute puppies, when it comes to the "real" stuff... I suck it up. I was telling my therapist this last Friday... and the plan is now for me to start letting the cry out when it counts :)
And today... well, seems to be a cry day!
I am struggling again today. Struggling with the ease I can eat... Struggling with the fact that so many can only eat a couple bites and are full... Struggling with the fact that some just are not interested in food anymore. And none of this is me!
Then i feel guilty because I CAN get in my protein with real food... EVERY day. And I should be thankful. But what I am is SCARED!
So I went poking around on Shelly's (eggface) site and came across her posts on this being work... and its ok to be a bit fearful because this keeps us in check.
I found this list of the worst things about being fat
http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/2007/06/worst-things-about-being-fat.html
And there are SO MANY of them I can relate to!!
So.... I am asking all of you to add yours to the list. We often post about the cool things that will (or have) happened when the pounds are gone, but what about the reminders of the 'fat side'?
Help me out by reminding me of the ugly stuff :) Give me a reason to cry and keep going so I am in compliance with my therapist! :)
Here are a few of my "worst things about being fat" :
> Having it hurt to just walk from the car to the front door.
> Having to use the grocery cart to hold me up in the grocery store.
> Being the largest, yet most invisible student in my classes
> Avoiding intimacy with my hubby
> Letting life just pass me by because its too much work to get involved
> Not fitting in the city bus seats or the school desk/chair combos
There are so many more....
And today... well, seems to be a cry day!
I am struggling again today. Struggling with the ease I can eat... Struggling with the fact that so many can only eat a couple bites and are full... Struggling with the fact that some just are not interested in food anymore. And none of this is me!
Then i feel guilty because I CAN get in my protein with real food... EVERY day. And I should be thankful. But what I am is SCARED!
So I went poking around on Shelly's (eggface) site and came across her posts on this being work... and its ok to be a bit fearful because this keeps us in check.
I found this list of the worst things about being fat
http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/2007/06/worst-things-about-being-fat.html
And there are SO MANY of them I can relate to!!
So.... I am asking all of you to add yours to the list. We often post about the cool things that will (or have) happened when the pounds are gone, but what about the reminders of the 'fat side'?
Help me out by reminding me of the ugly stuff :) Give me a reason to cry and keep going so I am in compliance with my therapist! :)
Here are a few of my "worst things about being fat" :
> Having it hurt to just walk from the car to the front door.
> Having to use the grocery cart to hold me up in the grocery store.
> Being the largest, yet most invisible student in my classes
> Avoiding intimacy with my hubby
> Letting life just pass me by because its too much work to get involved
> Not fitting in the city bus seats or the school desk/chair combos
There are so many more....
As for the worst things about being fat? For me it's being invisible at the gym when a certain older gentlemen says "Good Morning" to every other lady who walks in except me! Do I not exist? Do I look like a man? Am I just too fat for him? On the other hand, secretly I'm glad he doesn't acknowledge me.
That is only one example, I have a ton more that I care not too think about.
I obviously need some help!
I think I may need you to be my therapist, so better hurry and get your degree!
As for you Ms. Becca my thought is maybe you are doing all of the right things and this is why you have not been sick, you can tolerate foods that others may have issues with and all those other fears. Pat yourself on the back for following your program and keep moving forward....wishing you the best!!
Here's a (((hug))) for ya. You will be alright. I'm glad you came here to get some things out. That is ok.
I'm tough... I will survive...(and succeed one flippin way or another! LOL!) its always about processing for me. Trying to make sense of the jumble that goes round n round in my head!
Don't know what I'd without ya'll... I love my therapist, but even she does not get it like you guys do!
And Joy.... I'm working on it! LOL! Its scary how many similar things we are experiencing. It appears this journey comes with baggage regardless of how it plays out! I am sorry you are going thru same kind of things, but it is nice to know I am not the only one : /
Becca I think you are doing so good with food because you are careful about what you are eating and so well informed about what to try. hang in there.
My worst things about being so fat that come to my mind at the moment.
1 At the end I could barely move.
2 Feeling like I was a failure because I am in the healthcare field and I wasn't healthy.
3 having new clients see me and start to talk about how fat when I didn't think they were in comparison to me
4 not being able to fit in booths
5 being so depressed I didn't want to live in that body any more
Client is here so I am back to work...
Crying is a cleansing, keep breathing and know that this is the right path for you!
Thanks for sharing Shelly's list - now I am crying, SO much rings true, but it affirms that I am done with feeling these things and look to the future - just makes me want to work harder!! {{{HUGS}}}
Sometimes I think its survivors guilt... We made it thru the surgery... and now the end result has been placed in our hands... and truth is I don't want to be sick to succeed at this.. I want to feel well.. and still be successful..
I have been overweight my whole life... my list would be endless... it sums up to hating myself... and now at my age I'm trying to undo what has been inbred into me my whole life... not an easy challenge :)
I've lied to myself for so many years... this "new life" is a terrifying one... and only those that have lived it can truly understand...
Becca you are doing great... and I thank you so much for your openness and honesty... it helps the rest of us to do the same... and honesty is the final cure all ...
As to the things I hate about being fat, this one wasn't on eggfaces list or anyone elses but is a big one for me. I am so happy that I no longer need to try and regulate by BM's so I have them at home with access to the spray nozzle in my tub, enough said!
I know you are right... That's also what my surgeon said, if you follow the guidelines you'll do just fine.
My issue with that is this... If I could follow some set guidelines for eating I'd have never been fat to begin with! :/
I worry that the only reason I am 'following the guidelines" right now is out of shear will power... what happens when the willpower gives?
I guess THAT's when I figure out what I'm made of and what the surgery is doing to help prevent me from overeating... :)
Sorry if I am ranting... I do not mean to be a pain! :)
As an adult it was more like being ashamed of how I looked no matter how hard I tried to dress. And being unble to control my appetite.