I have no advice to offer. I know you love her to pieces, and I'm sorry that she is having such difficulty accepting the comments the "new you" attracts... I hope that she can see past those compliments and realize that your heart belonged to her as both "Big" and "Not so Big" Mike and praise from others wasn't your goal after wls.

Hugs to you my friend!

It sort of sounds like your weight loss made her insecure and this happens to many of us, honestly. Mike you aren't alone in this.

Several of my friends who had weight losses ended up divorced because their husbands became insecure about their hot new wife. I was fortunate-my husband loved that I was healthier and happier with weight gone.

Would she be willing to go to therapy with you to deal with this?

Best wishes
plantcrone

therapy was my 2'nd response. she sad we don't need that. and it was some how all on me and i was making it all happen. idk what the hell to do.........

I don't have any advice to give, but I agree with plantcrone that ikt made her feel insecure. It kind of reminds me of my ex husband who when I lost weight on weight watchers long ago, told me to gain it back. I did gain it back, but long after we had parted ways. You are much healthier. I hope things work out for you.

It's terrible, read your own post and pretend it's someone else, what would you say to that person? She has major insecuritys, you can't fix them only she can. If someone complements my husband I always would agree, Love is lifting up, not dragging down. Don;t sound healthy to me, my 2 cent's, sorry just saying. And for you to have to make sure people don't say nice things about you cuz how it makes her feel is crazy, even if you could do that, it would be something else. I think this just might be your best v-day ever, and you just don't know it yet!!

I am sorry you are going through this. Remember that her insecurity is not your problem, it is hers. Someone that loves you should be supportive of you getting your health back and insecurity is an ugly monster but definitely a real one. We are here for you if you need to talk or need someone to help you sort it out. (hugs)

You don't need her! Don't date someone who makes you feel down! There are other fish in the sea!!

wow. thanks it was a bad day . and you are all right . i dont need that in my life someone that loves ya wood not put me down like that. but she was there for me through it all and it did not feel right to not try n support her when she was in need but when we got together I told her i was going to go through a Big change and if she was up for it let's do it.. i guess she did believe me. i lost 476 lbs that is a big change ... i went from 703 down to 227 you all know it comes with a lot of hard work my Dr. told me when i started not to expect to go lower than 400 to 390. and look what i did ... now 227. and it was a lot of working out and eating right...

Mike your weight loss is fantastic as is your positive attitude. It's so sad that your girlfriend, who stood by you thru so much, became afraid.

You are right, you don't NEED her but many of us know that close support is important. If she gets some help, try to be forgiving because obvious you love her still.

Bet of wishes in your future and maintaining your loss..there is a maintenance group here on DS
http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/bariatric-weight-loss-surgery-maintenance
please join us there
plantcrone

Sorry to hear that. You have done such an amazing job with your weight loss, so it really is unfair that she took her insecurities out on you.

As far as has this happened to anyone else? Not to me personally, but to my daughter. She and her ex got engaged in January, she had her surgery in February and lost 140 lbs by the time they married in November of that same year. By January he was screwing around with someone else.

Best we can tell, there were 2 things going on. He liked heavy women because his new woman is morbidly obese. The second thing is he didn't like my daughter's new happy self esteem after the weight loss. He couldn't bully her around any more.

So it unfortunately happens. I wish the best things for you and you find the woman that you deserve.

You have done amazing and deserve the best. I have a son who went thru WLS also and I would tell him that you are the same person inside and out. If she can't love you for who you are then she does not deserve you. I will celebrate my 40th wedding anniversary this month. My husband has been here with me from skinny to fat and hopefully back to skinny. He knows i love him and he loves me for me. You have to marry your best friend. Someone you can be yourself with. Not worry that if someone complements you will get upset because you are getting attention. If she is not willing to get counseling than she is not willing to work to make your relationship work.
You are a strong person as my son is. He was the one who encouraged me to have wls too. keep the faith.

GREAT attitude Mike! OMG You should be walking on clouds! What a inspiration you are, and always remember where you came from and what you did to get here, Keep up the awesome work, and I promise you with a amazing attitude like that, you are gonna big a huge catch for someone, when the time is right!!

wow. all i can do after sitting back and reading this is say WTF was i thanking I dont need that in my life. I am the same person on the in side just not the out if ya know what i am saying .... lol. jk jk ...
better times summer is so close and me life has changed so much it is unreel . now after a fue day's have went buy ... i now feel free. it was a blessing i am now going into the 2'nd faze on Tuesday. lower body lift surgery. and boy it is a big one. pray for me ... thank's DS...



Mike

I don't have advise but just to say you can do better and CONGRATS on the weight loss, Mike. That's fantastic!!!!!

I don't have "advice" to share with you, but perhaps a few words that help me out from time to time....

No man (woman) is worth your tears, and the one that is, won't make you cry.

If I'm not man enough for her, I will find a woman I am man enough for.

I find these to be sort of comforting when MY jealousy begins to take over. I know you don't have the insecurity issues, she does, but maybe she needs to hear these things. One more. It is a little rude but...

You bitches can look at my man all you want, I know where he will wake up in the morning.