Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
One of the things I struggled with for the first few months of being GF was resisting the urges brought on by that not-so-little voice telling me that "It's Ok to go just once. Just bring a little money with you, this time will be different. This time you will know when to leave. This time you will know when to stop.You'll just have fun! "
I tried to ignore that voice, but it got louder and louder.
So I had to argue back:
My internal responses to that voice were:
"One definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over expecting a different outcome. I don't want to be crazy anymore"
"I have no brakes. I wouldn't get into a car with no brakes and expect to make it stop by sheer determination"
"Look at these bank statements!( Highlighted the casino withdrawals) just look at how much I've lost!"
What are your arguments back to that obnoxious voice? What does the angel on your one shoulder say to the devil on the other that is trying to get you back to gambling? Please add them to this thread, as they may help everybody who is struggling with those first few weeks/months when the Stinkin Thinkin is loudest.
I tried to ignore that voice, but it got louder and louder.
So I had to argue back:
My internal responses to that voice were:
"One definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over expecting a different outcome. I don't want to be crazy anymore"
"I have no brakes. I wouldn't get into a car with no brakes and expect to make it stop by sheer determination"
"Look at these bank statements!( Highlighted the casino withdrawals) just look at how much I've lost!"
What are your arguments back to that obnoxious voice? What does the angel on your one shoulder say to the devil on the other that is trying to get you back to gambling? Please add them to this thread, as they may help everybody who is struggling with those first few weeks/months when the Stinkin Thinkin is loudest.
Me-"I've also seen people LOSE thousands, Stinkin. And trying to get myself out of this hole doing the same thing that got me into this hole isn't smart. And I, Stinkin, am smart!"
...the stinking think v. the real me....loving it!
If anyone ever had the opportunity to hear those crazy audio tracks of our "inside voices" for sure we'd all be walking around in straight jackets. Resolve...there's a visual for us...walking into the casinos and one in five people you come across is sporting a straight jacket! LOL.
In reality, when we did hit a jackpot, we weren't winning from the casino, or the state in the case of lotteries and scratch offs. We were just taking the hard earned money off the schmuck sitting next to us in a straight jacket trying to feed another $20 into the bill validator with his/her teeth! And in my active gambling days, I probably offered my assistance with getting that bill in the validator for them.
Nobody's snuck anymore-I retired my straight jacket!
Strength, peace and love to all...
Warm regards....Tagg20
ME-Oh, right, and if I don't even get a bonus, I will just be satisfied, and walk outta there? I don't think so. Also, If I do win, I will know "it's my lucky night" can't go home now...I'm on a luck streak. Go home battered in spirit. Feeling again, like why the H E L L did I do THAT again.
the Ill only use the free play..
yeah right..
thats now even enough to get going..
DAAAAAAAAA
what a dumb ass I have been
Stinkin- It's been months since you went to the casino, your friend called and invited you, why be anti-social? I'm sure you can go there now and not go crazy. It'll be fun!"
Me-No, I don't want to test the waters when there's an undertow just waiting to drag me under again. I have to make my friend understand that this is not something we can do together anymore. She doesn't want to hurt me, she just doesn't "get it" because I never told her that I had a problem. So, I'll help her celebrate her birthday a couple days late, with money I *won't* lose at the casino!!!
Me -Yeah because that fear and disgust on the drive home is just like a party.
Me -I will totally ruin all the good that has happened in the last month. I will let down my friends -here and at my GA meeting (and myself). I am incapable of walking out of there with either money or self-respect.
Me - I really can't afford a "learning experience'. KISS -keep it simple stupid. You would have to do it all over again -the urges (growing pains), and the stomachaches. DO NOT BLOW IT!!!
It's so important to keep Stinkin at bay. he keeps coming back (don't know WHY I visualize Stinkin as a guy, but I do!)
I have been saving up for a trip for a long long time now.
The airline has gone on strike.
It looks like I'm going to have to cancel the trip and I pre-paid for the trip because deposits were needed to book the hotels that the group I was to be traveling with required money.
I wrote to the person handing the trip and have received no reply as of today (one week has passed).
Have I gotten ripped off by this person or is this person sick (it is an elderly man that my late father knew).
In any event, it looks like I'm going nowhere and have LOST money on this plan. :(
Then The Voice comes creeping in.
It says to me, "Well you've lost money on this trip you had planned to go on. You should go to the casino and maybe you'll hit a big jackpot there and that will cover your losses."
I say to this voice, "Well this has not worked for me very well in the past."
The Voice says to me, "Remember the time that your cat was in the hospital and you did not have the $500.00 to get him back? You went to the casino and you won the money to pay his veterinarian bill!"
I say to The Voice, "Yes, I do remember that. I wonder if that could happen again?".
The Voice says, "Of course it can happen again and go! Maybe it will cheer you up and you'll win a load!".
So, I sit here today and The Voice is loud and I must travel into town today to go to the doctor and it is not far from one of the casinos I have gone to in the past.
I hope to God I don't go there.
I feel like telling The Voice to F off but it isn't doing so well at listening to me.
I hope I don't go.
Haven't gambled in a couple of months now.
I talked to a lady I know that was my gambler friend. She is still losing a lot of money and is now cooking her meals on a hot plate in her kitchen as the stove went out and she doesn't seem to have the money to fix it she says but is still at the casino gambling and now taking out cash advances from her credit cards.
Screw you The Voice.
You don't do anyone any good at all.
Thou shalt resist temptation ... deliver us from evil is my prayer for all of us!
Voice-"Well you've lost money on this trip you had planned to go on. You should go to the casino and maybe you'll hit a big jackpot there and that will cover your losses."
You-Yeah, and maybe,in fact PROBABLY, I'll go there already chasing losses, and lose even more! Then I'll feel doubly depressed! Losing this trip sucks, but not having any money to do anything here in town while I was supposed to be on this trip would suck even more!
Voice-, "Remember the time that your cat was in the hospital and you did not have the $500.00 to get him back? You went to the casino and you won the money to pay his veterinarian bill!"
You-Yeah, I do. But do YOU remember all the times I left there without a penny in my pocket? Do YOU remember how stressed I was when I was looking at my bank account and saw how much less was in there because I was trying to repeat that win? Because *I* remember those times. And they sucked.
Voice-, "Of course it can happen again and go! Maybe it will cheer you up and you'll win a load!".
You- Maybe, Maybe, Maybe. You sure start a lot of sentences with Maybe, you SOB. Mine start with PROBABLY. USUALLY. MOSTLY. Because that is what is true. And I am not going to risk my money, my sanity, or my recovery on a MAYBE. It's too precious. So go away, let me be pissed off about losing money on this trip, and stop encouraging me to PROBABLY lose even more by going to the casino.
Stay the course, you've come so far!
Shelly
thank you thank you thank you
Let's hope I can make it into town today, see the doctor, tend to the other business I need to tend to and just come home!
Will let you know later how this goes.
Thanks for reminding me of the many times I've left a stupid casino only to return home with not a cent left and maybe $10.00 in the account left for the rest of the month! :(
I don't want to go back to the horrible place.
So, I lost money on a trip I had planned. The loss had nothing to do with gambling.
The loss is do to circumstances beyond my control. I'm sure I am not the only person in this particular group of travelers that is being affected by this and I do hope my late father's friend is ok.
My husband mentioned it to me ... perhaps he is sick, that is why you haven't heard from him (he is about 80 years old or more I think). Shame on me for thinking like this about a good man I personally know. I should be praying that he is well, not being a suspicious fool!
Thanks again!!!