Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I got into sports betting 7 months back. September 2017 it was. I started with $2000 which I turned to 23,000 in couple of months. I was betting online at home, at work, in bathroom, while driving, while on holidays, while at the beach, while taking my dogs for a walk. Before I went to bed after I woke up. I also lost but somehow principal amount of $2000 was never lost so I was happy.Christmas was great and I was high on my winnings. I declared these winnings to my wife who was very happy as well.
I never knew that the money that I won after spending day and nights will be lost in 1 hour. It started with a 40$ loss and then 500$ and then I put 5000$ on a single tennis game and then another 10000 on a single game of tennis which I all lost. So I lost 23,000 within an hour. That was in January 2018.
I started in February again and I deposited another 2000 and reached making 13,000 before I lost it again within 30 minutes. This time again my loss started at $50 and ended at 13,000.
I made a promise to myself that next time I will be very vigilant and wont earn more then $50 a day. This strategy helped me earning 10,000 before I lost it all over again. Same pattern as before. It took 1 month to earn and 30 minutes to loss.
So as before I put another 1600 thinking that it will be last money on any form of gambling. I tripled this money and reached 4800 within an hour. I stopped at that time and thought that from tomorrow I will only win 20$ a day.
Yesterday, I put back all my winnings on a tennis game and lost 4800. I was so sick and depressed and angry and lost all my sense and then brought in 15,000 dollars and put it back on the same player whom I lost 4800 on thinking that she will for sure win the next game. She lost and I lost another 15,000.
Since yesterday I am so depressed, have no motivation to live. What should I do? I am so ashamed, disgusted and not intersted in life.
Money I can cover within a year but what should I do for the loss. I am really, really sad. I have a teenager son and a young daughter. When I look at that I really feel depressed....
Please help.
Please pray to GOD to take my life. I dont deserve to live. Its the worst day of my life. Nothing is working for me... What should I do? Cant do suicide as have a young family...Where should I hide? Cant see anything.
My life is done I guess....
Have you written a good-bye letter to gambling? Do you really want to quit?
Your description of your Monday relapse is like you are reliving it - like revisiting the scene of the crime. If you keep feeding yourself images of gambling surrounded by the myth that a big win will fix your problems you are doomed to repeat this same cycle all the way to the suicidal ideations. Over and over and over and over again for ever! What hell you are putting yourself through......
Sadly there is no place to hide ~ where ever I go, there I am. We have had a life of hiding from our feelings and life it is time to take the bull by the horns. Do anything and everything to get between yourself and gambling. Time to pay for professional counseling if you cannot find free treatment. It will save you thousands of dollars in the long run. Suicide or even suicidal thoughts are a pretty serious side effect of this disease. I attempted suicide two times while gambling. Somehow through counseling and hard work, I found a part of me that still cared about me and wanted to live. To really live, not just go through the motions.
You can do this too, but you MUST make changes or nothing will change.
Wasted around a decade and wasted a lots of money. Time to earn that back by hard work in next decade.
Shall keep you posted on my Journey.
Really have no plan. Cursed every GOD then apologised. All roads lead to darkness. No interes in life. Feel so guilty.
If I tell this fiasco to wife, for sure I am done for life as she will tell my kids as well and that equals death to me.
Can I still make a comeback?
Example: When my sister Sue flaunts her wealth, I feel like gambling. The next time my sister flaunts her wealth I am going to walk away find a private space and call my friend Mary, who is always kind and supportive. Or I am going to use art to express how I feel about people who flaunt their wealth. Or I am going to write in my journal about why I don't like people who flaunt their wealth.
Write out a plan for each and every trigger you can think of.
Have you written out a good bye to gambling? Do you really want to quit gambling or do you still tell yourself that you can get ahead by gambling? It is not going to be easy and recovery does not happen overnight, it took you some time to get this far. You need to at least put in as much energy into quitting as you have put into gambling. It will take forcing yourself to do things in life until the dopamine wears off (90-120 days).
We all went through having no interest in life, feeling that nothing else was exciting. But make yourself do something different for 3-4 months and you will feel differently. You must not give up before you have really tried. You must decide to fight for this like your life depends on it - because it does.
I’m finding it easier to abstain from gambling because I’m focused on doing what is right and fair to myself. I don’t ever want to hurt myself that badly again. This new way of dealing with my addiction isn’t easy, but it’s honest. My addiction was lies and panic. I’m sick of hurting myself. That’s all there is to it. I’m learning, things I didn’t even realize I needed to know, that’s precious. I suppose you could say I’m trading nasty urges to self sabotage for true feelings of emotions. It’s not easy. Sometimes it hurts, but not even close to the pain I put myself through gambling.
Dig deep and find your strength, it’s a powerful tool in our arsenal of addiction fighting.
The loss have virtually stopped my life. Slowly I have to rebuild. One day at a time
Today I will not gamble.
When you are not being triggered or thinking of gambling is a great time to practice things that you will do if you do get triggered to gamble. If you practice in your head - when you actually get triggered, you will have another option besides gambling. Part of recovery is making plans to prevent relapse.
Also it is good time to do some affirmations. Tell yourself out loud you are proud of you.
Give yourself some pats on the back.
My personal favorites:
All things come to me for the greater good of all.
The universe surrounds and protects me as I move through this journey called life.