I really did not feel better until closer to 4 months. (120 days) I too lost my home, my car, my job and nearly lost my freedom and my life. Because I gambled with money that was not mine, I was convicted of three felonies. Age 61 with 3 felonies is a hard place to look for work from. I was suicidal when I quit. Yes, gambling gives some joy and peace but it was very short lived for me and only lasted as long as I could keep the action going.

I was determined I would find some other way to deal with stress and feelings besides gambling. Frankly for me, it took some counseling from a gambling addiction trained counselor to get back to where I cared about myself to put in a real "college" effort. Louise Hay and her video on "How to Love Yourself" gave me a start. Dealing with long bottled up grief in a grief and loss workshop helped me let go of past hurts and say a proper 'good-bye' to friends that have passed on. A book called 'Healing the Inner Child' by Penny Parks and the exercises within it helped me to begin to heal the shame created by my family of origin.

Writing out a goodbye to gambling, making a relapse prevention plan, journaling, keeping a gratitude diary, changing toward healthier eating/exercise/sleeping, meditation, artwork, dancing, hiking, photography, rekindling friendships/making new ones, volunteering and seeking a higher power, all played a role in my being able to finally free myself from the gambling lifestyle and constant haunting thoughts and urges, It was hard, I had to fight for it as if I were fighting for my life. (I was.) The biggest fight was with my own self, to prove to me that I could learn to trust myself again and that I was worth the effort and deserved to have a better life.

Like you, I sometimes feel that nothing gives me the joy and peace that gambling did. But if I'm honest, that joy and peace was short-lived, and the long-term consequences are definitely not worth it. I was - and I guess always will be - addicted to the dopamine high of gambling, but I know now that what it brought me was a false joy and a false peace. I have to remind myself every day that I'd rather have the true peace that comes from gradually working my way back to mental, spiritual, and financial well-being. Some days I still feel like crap, but mostly it does get better. One foot in front of the other, doing the next right thing one day at a time. Qwit4Good has some excellent strategies. I wish you well.

I completely understand how you feel and I hope you are able to find some solutions soon. I also miss gambling so much.... I think about it everyday and even dream about it on most nights. My life is pretty boring outside of gambling. I go to work, walk the dog, and sometimes sit on my couch so long that my bottom hurts. When I was gambling, I shopped, I traveled to gamble and would gamble locally 4-5 times a week. It was so much fun when I was winning, eating steak and lobster on the house, and I really won quite a lot of money. But then I have to remember the times that I lost all my winnings and all of my money, lost paycheck after paycheck, and had a negative account for 2 months. In addition, I have filed for bankruptcy and I have my first 341 meeting with the trustee on Tuesday. I don't think my life will ever be as exciting as it was when I gambled.... Its just life. I hope you are able to recover and get back on your feet. Going to GA meetings a few times a week has helped me and doing a lot of reading. You will not be able to solve all of the issues/problems but you can work on one issue at a time/one day at a time. Hugs

I had to make a huge effort to find and do things that make me feel better. You need to take care of all your needs including social, emotional, physical, and mental. Do something - anything - as long as it is not gambling. Bubble bath - pedicure - find other things that make you feel better.

I keep hearing about how great gambling makes some people feel and then they tell about the destruction it has caused in their life. I can honestly say for me it never made me feel great,it just numbed me from the pain I was trying to escape from. Just a addict looking for a fix,and then waiting for the high. Get real friends,gambling has never done a thing for you but robbed you of all your money,your dignity,and your soul. As long as you glamorize this false prophet it will be very hard to let it go. The stark reality is we are addicts and gambling is our drug of choice. Not so glamorous when you look in the mirror after a 3 day binge or look at your life after the destruction this disease has caused you and your loved ones. Not me,I remember the pain and agony and as long as I keep in touch with those true feelings I believe I have a chance to stay away and live a meaningful and prosperous excistance. God bless.

Skip, everyone's gambling experience was different, just as everyone's path to recovery is different. We're all just reporting what we've experienced and how we're moving toward health one day at a time. It was what it was, we felt how we felt...and now we're on a better path.

Newgirl55 I, too, know exactly how you are feeling right now when you talk about the "happiness" gambling brought you. I got so caught up in this false thinking a couple weeks ago that I couldn't break free and I messed up my recovery. One of the hardest things is having to actually deal with all the crappy feelings now that we don't escape by gambling. You wrote me such a nice email once and you talked about being kind and loving to yourself. I hope that you reread that email because you deserve to love yourself. You are doing great work and you are a huge inspiration to me. When you are thinking clearly, I know that you realize that the "fun" of gambling is very short lived but the misery is very long lasting. Are you still going to Celebrate Recovery meetings? My heart aches for you and I wish I had some magic words to help you and everyone else who has to battle this demon. Try not to get too far ahead of yourself. One day at a time. Thanks for posting and I truly hope things are looking better today.

We are addicts. Just because it's not substance abuse doesn't mean that keeping recovery first in our lives isn't the most important thing at all times.

I'm 15 months in and there are days I just want to run to the casino. I don't know if there will ever be a magical day when I start not wanting to go blow a paycheck or a windfall of money at casinos. I don't know.

All I know is this: Yes, it does get easier overall. But there are still good days and bad days. For me, today is a not-so-great day, and this forum is helping. But remember, it's always One Day At A Time. You can't get ahead of yourself, you can't imagine that you're going to be healed completely on day 90 or 900 or 9000, and you can't fool yourself into believing it's always going to be easy. It's not. But it is worth it to stay away and to believe a better life is ahead.